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Types of Pussy and Dick
Types of Pussy and Dick
If you are a man I think that you can agree there are many types of pussy that a man can experience. If you are a woman I think that you can agree that every man does not react to your pussy the same. These are just some reasons why men act different to different pussies.
****Types of Pussy****
LAZY PUSSY - This is when there is no movement on the woman's part >except trying to stop full thrust of the dick into the pussy. She says faster, faster but still is not putting any effort into the action at hand.
THE WENDY"S WINDOW PUSSY - This is the girl you pick up around 12:30a.m when everyone is sleeping and she knows that you are coming so she is waiting by the door. You don't have to beep the horn or call her from the car cause she knows the deal. She usually is not the best looking girl. You are never seen with this girl in public places and you hate that >she mentions your name to her friends. There is no reason to ask how your day was because it is too late for conversation. It is all agreed upon before she evens gets into the car. Nine out of ten times, there is no talk of relationship, because that might spoil the mood.
THE CONQUERED PUSSY - This is the girl who teased you for about two or three years and finally you get your chance and you please the pussy in a way it has never been pleased before. Now you have this girl calling you and wondering when ya'll can HOOK UP again. There is no pussy better then THE CONQUERED PUSSY.
THE ALL INCLUSIVE PUSSY - This when you get all the benefits of sex. The pussy is yours for the taking. Whether it is night or day, still in her church dress type pussy. The pussy smells like roses even after sex and tastes better than candy. Not only is the pussy yours whenever or wherever you want it, she give you ALL the sexual favors you can imagine. The head is tremendous, the kind that you write your niggas in jail about and she can handle the dick when you hit it from the back. To top it off, she is not scared to take it in the ass. This is in close running with THE CONQUERED PUSSY for the best pussy to ever get.
THE OUT OF TOWN PUSSY - This is the pussy you met on the last trip you and the fellas took. She only keeps in touch via email and she does not want a long distance relationship. She visits only at your discretion and always comes alone but is willing to bring a friend. She is number one when you go back to that city and only wants to have lunch to catch up on missed conversation. THE OUT OF TOWN PUSSY is necessary for the traveling single man.
THE FRUSTRATION PUSSY - This is the girl you call when you need to let some loose. You decide to call her when your day at work is miserable. You may even set this up before leaving work or on the way home. The only reason for this activity to take place is to get your mind off of other things. Afterwards you might think to yourself and say why did I just do that. The girl who is receiving the dick doesn't mind cause she doesn't get much action to begin with. THE FRUSTRATION PUSSY is sometimes THE WENDY'S WINDOW PUSSY.
THE FREQUENT FLIER PUSSY - This is the girl you know is fucking around, but you just don't care. She has lubrications that are halfway used already. She always has condom wrappers in her bathroom trash and beer in the fridge. The only reason why you keep fucking is because it's good, she's not bad looking and there could never be a relationship. It has not been proven, but she could have fucked one of the guys you use to go to school with. The pussy is not loose, but it is not THE HANDS ON THE HIPS PUSSY. I'll get to that later.....
TIME TO GO PUSSY - This is the pussy that when the pants come off her you can smell the nahh nahh! Fellas if this happens it is not even worth the two bars of soap it will take to get rid of the stench off your dick. This occurs with girls you bring home from the club, so to avoid this, take a good whiff while in the car with her or better yet invite her to take a shower with you.
THE TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT PUSSY - This is the girl everyone expects you to fuck. You haven't touched her cause she either has a big mouth, lives next door or is a close friend of the family's relative. There is also the chance that she is all three. She is cute but you know the consequences. She continues to tease you with the pussy and at any moment when the both of you are alone, she lets you know she wants to fuck. The best thing to do is fuck her friend. Last but not least.........
THE HANDS ON THE HIPS PUSSY - This is the girl that you fucked only one time cause she could not handle the dick. No matter the position you tried, she complains that it hurts. Not only is she screaming like you are murdering the woman, but she puts her hands on your hips so that you can't get your full stroke on. It's like fucking with half of your dick. She does not know the proper way to suck dick so there is no pleasure there. and doggy style to her is just Snoop's first album.
****Types of Dick****
MISERABLE DICK - When the guy is extremely handsome. He says the right things,does the right things. When it comes to sex, he is lacking in this department. He sucks your tits too hard, kisses your mouth too long, stays around your neck forever, fingers you like a GYN Doctor, licks your pussy like he was in a track meet and has a very small dick. You try to give him some head and only find that you are actually sucking a pacifier. This is so miserable. You think, "how can a guy so fine, so polite have weak game?" To top everything off ladies, how about just when in your mind your going to try to get the best out of this even if you have to make yourself cum and he beats you to the punch. DAMN, I cannot believe he came in 3 minutes!!!
TOLERABLE DICK - This is funny dick. He eats major pussy. He eats it so good, your knees feel a little weak. It was good enough to make you shed a tear. Then he puts his dick in, for you to realize that you cannot really feel it!! His stroke is irregular and non-rhythmic. You work with it by riding out on it as if you were in a Wild Wild West Movie. You hold your pelvic real tight and try to visualize the last big dick you had to get your mind off this less than filling dick. It's funny because in the man's mind he'll say, that we just have big pussy's from having too much sex and that is why we cannot feel him. Only for them to forget that the pussy is a muscle that accommodates! the size of the penis. If she has had children already it will only shrink so much.
INTERNET DICK - Well, how would we define this type of dick? You see, online they talk a damn good game. You meet and you fuck. The catch is you had an orgasm online, over the phone and a fake orgasm in person. But, there are some Internet dicks that are exceptions to this definition. Bottom line____________. HE COULD NOT MAKE YOU CUM!!
OVERWHELMED DICK - I believe this dick ladies we all can testify to. Like, Whoa! This is the type of dick you misjudged. You saw some signs of weakness in this man. He always caters to you and really does not discuss what he can do in bed with you. When kissing him, you notice you make his knees weak. You hold out on giving him some and tease him. You know what size dick he has because you have either A:given him some mean-ass head. Or B: Stroked it while he was wearing pants or boxers. So, you thought in your mind, "I am going to pussy feed and whip him." Only to find he laid the "SMACK DOWN" on your pussy. He had you in a figure eight. You were so overwhelmed that you could not even speak. Your whole pre-calculated fuck was down the drain. He had more game than you. He was like an energizer bunny that kept going and going. You could not even hang. Now you look at him in a different light.
PUNISHABLE DICK - This is the dick that pisses me off the most. You see, the guy you're sleeping with punishes your pussy. If he, had a bad or good day at work, "he punishes your pussy." If he, had a good or bad meal, "he punishes your pussy." If he's pissed off at you, "he punishes your pussy." No matter what, "he punishes your pussy." It is easy to tell if the guy your with falls into this category. He always uses phrases like these when he is fucking you: "DON'T RUN FROM THIS DICK", "AIN'T THIS SOME GOOD DICK, "TELL ME YOU LIKE THIS DICK," "WHAT IS MY NAME," "WHOSE PUSSY THIS BELONGS TO," "I DON'T HEAR YOU TALKING SHIT NOW" and finally, "YOU LIKE WHEN DADDY GETS THIS PUSSY AND WHIPS IT!"! While all this is being said, he is literally smacking your ass, fucking your walls sore, sweat is dripping like it was raining and he acts like he is in a fight.
GUILTY DICK - Ladies who have cheated on their man temporarily can say, "AMEN" to this type of dick. Ladies, this is the type of dick that makes you cry and confess to your man you fucked someone else. The guilty dick made you want to tell everybody. Guilty dick is in a class of it's on. Guilty dick make you look and feel different about the dick you got at home. Guilty dick made you have multiple orgasms. Made you cry and you had no clue to why. This dick is so intense, when it is being administered it sent you in a trance. He has a slow long stroke, sweats on you, asks you if you're comfortable about six times, you started at 6 PM and it is now going on 9PM and he is not tired and has not cum! yet. He licks on your pussy as if he was a baby cat licking warm milk, he savors it like you're the main course meal, he smells it like fine wine and does not rush from the spot, he flips you! over and begins licking your pussy from the back and your ass at the same time. He takes his fingers and inserts them in your pussy and looks at you, offers you a taste and begins sucking the ice/cum off of his fingers. By now you're in shock and forgot all about your man. You act as if you want him to stop, but the pussy is screaming for more. He has at least two inches more than your man. Guilty dick makes you think in your mind for a split second,"Oh Baby! I am sorry." Guilty dick in the end you try to avoid. When you're back with your man, you're wondering why he cannot perform like guilty dick. You even have the nerve to get mad and then instruct him to do what guilty dick did to you.
PLEASURABLE DICK - This is good convenient dick. Easy dick. Dick you can call when your body needs a fix. You might as well call it "SPLAKEVELLIE." He gives you major head like GUILTY DICK and fucks you like GUILTY DICK. Only thing is, you do not have a man, so you're not feeling guilty. Whenever you call the dick is ready. His dick craves your pussy. This dick is available anytime, anyplace.
GOD DAMN DICK! - Ladies, now this is dick that will definitely send you to hell if your not married to it. This dick is just like PLEASURABLE and GUILTY DICK. His dick is any where from 8 to 11inches long and the circumference of a half dollar. This dick makes you numb, cry and pray all at the same time. While he is getting it doggy style you look towards the heavens and say, "GOD DAMN THIS IS SOME GOOD DICK!!" CAP'N DICK - This is the gold mine dick. This dick is the dick that you commit yourself too. You do not cheat on it and you keep it a well kept secret. In fact, you constantly crave and feign for this dick. When you get this dick, you go through covulsions. This is the dick that makes you EVERREADY. You call in sick from work for it. GOSH!!! This dick is so major it is OVERWHELMED DICK, PEASURABLE DICK, GUILTY DICK, and GOD DAMN DICK all in one. This is the dick that you want to put insurance on, just in case anything should happen to it. This dick makes you stutter while speaking and have you nervous for no reason.
11/9/2005 4:23 pm
I can attest to being with all such pussies, and since most of my sexual encounters are with attached women who have either boyfriends or husbands I've heard their stories testifying to your dick stories.|
It seems your perspective on the experineces are pretty much as I would see thems as well
11/19/2006 3:15 pm
This is too funny but also really true. I have experienced some types of dick like the ones described and have heard stories about the other kinds.|