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A Case of Dick Hands
A Case of Dick Hands
Ok, so there's something that people find a little freaky about me: I'm a bit of a germaphobe. I'm the guy that opens the restroom door with a paper towel, who lines the toilet bowl with an inch of paper, who won't partake in the Thanksgiving potluck at work (I have no idea what your living conditions are really like). Call me obsessive compulsive, but I'm not going to get sick because someone doesn't wash his/her hands.
So I was faced with a dilemma the other day: my girlfriend's dad usually doesn't wash his hands after pissing. He's a nice guy, but I know that he doesn't wash his hands. He's a really cool guy, but he doesn't wash his hands!
You see my problem here; after I've seen him, he'll shake my hand.
Have you any idea how much self-control it takes for me not to scream like a drag-queen, douse my arm with gas, and strike a match? So I have to shake his hand and pray for a chance to run to the nearest sink.
Should I tell my girlfriend? Should I tell him, "Look, dude, I know you've got dick hands." That'd go over like a lead balloon.
What I'm afraid of happening, is that one day I'll refuse to shake his hand and I'll be on his shit list. I'm usually the type that won't shake hands with someone I don't like (which has caused a scene), but I like her dad.
Dick hands--ugh! Wash your fucking hands!
6/15/2005 11:45 am
Wow, what a dilemma - dick hands or shit list.|
I can relate. I haven't been sick in years because I don't touch public door handles with my bare hands, I'll use a towel, or part of my shirt, or hold it open with my foot. I too after shaking hands with someone head for instant sanitizer in my purse. I clean the phones every couple of days here at work besides wiping down all the buttons on the copy and fax machines. OCD you say? Maybe but at least I'm keeping some poor family physician from getting that new addition on his summer home.
Sanitize to your heart's content, my dear.