|Blogs > oktober702 > primus, 35, Norway|
Me, the drug addict.
Me, the drug addict.
When I was 18 yrs of age, I tried heroin for the first time. And from day one, I was a junkie.
I remember thinking "why havenīt anyone told me about this wonderful drug before? I can just stick a needle in my arm, and all my troubles disappear. My worst enemy isnīt so bad after all, and even if I got sacked from work two days ago,,,so what? People are suckers going around, worrying about things that donīt mean shit".
I actually didnīt think about all the other junkies who was standing, or hanging around downtown Oslo, looking like they allready had died.
But the fun didnīt last more than about17-18 months.Then I realized that I had become one of them. Even though I never did any criminal to obtain money for drugs, exept for selling drugs to others to finance my rapidly increasing abuse. Larger doses, more frequent use, (6-7 LARGE doses a day)
but worst of all was how I ruined my relationship with my family. I had allways been very close to my mother. It was allways she and me against my father.
I played in a band, and my mom said to my father: if our son wants to do this,we have no right to stop him.
But by the time our band had become famous in the underground scene, playing black metal, I was so fucked up by those drugs that I had to quit the band.
But after some ten years on heroin, I was captured in the safety-net we have here in Norway.
They asked me if I wanted help, and I had no strenght left in me to live, in fact, if I had lived one winter more out on the streets, selling dope, I would have killed myself.
So I was sent to detox, and then away to a place called "Phoenix House". I know there are other Phoenix Houses around the world. Both in USA and the UK.
I was in treatment for THREE long years, and when I was finished, I went right back on the needle, doing more drugs than I ever had done before.
But,,once again I was offered help.
So NOW at last, I have made it. Even if I have to drink 115mg methadone a day, and it makes me a bit drowsy at times, I now live a "normal" life without illegal drugs. For three years Ivé been on methadone, and for the first time in almost fifteen years I can feel happy again.
I donīn know why I write this in here. Sometimes it just feels good to get it out.
If someone have any questions about drugs/treatment, please write me a note, and Iīll answer as good as I can.( I know my english isnīt the best, but as long as itīs understandable, itīs ok,,?