OMG...Now this is 'Hilarious'...  

ohsodelicious 57F
1747 posts
3/20/2006 8:33 pm

Last Read:
3/28/2006 4:43 pm

OMG...Now this is 'Hilarious'...

Actual lines out of U.S. Military OERs (Officer Efficiency Reports) and from Royal Navy and Marines officer fitness reports:


A gross ignoramus = 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

A room temperature IQ.

Bright as Alaska in December.

Donated his body to science before he was done using it.

Fell out of the family tree.

Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

He's so dense, light bends around him.

If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

One neuron short of a synapse.

One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.

Takes him 10 hours to watch 60 minutes.

This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.

Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

As a retiree from the Military {enlisted, just to clarify that point} I about fell out of my chair I laughed so hard...I had to wipe the tears to finish..LMAO!!


RockPebble 69M
2485 posts
3/21/2006 7:17 am

ROF LMAO

All the things an ex-noncom has thought but never been allowed to say in public!

Also;

A few bricks short of a load.

The lights are on but nobody's home.

Why do I have the feeling that some of these were from our illustrious leader's fitness reports?

These are exceptional, even from you. You have outdone yourself.

Thanks,
XOXO


ohsodelicious 57F
1922 posts
3/21/2006 9:42 am

Daniel{=}I just couldn't help myselfSurely, you know I did not intend to offend 'Forrest' This was just sooo funny I had to share Glad your back

Kisses...OhSo{=}


ohsodelicious 57F
1922 posts
3/21/2006 9:53 am

RockI have no ideal who these comments pertain to...I will say they must have been complete idiots and I'm surprised they {comments}even went through the rating system
Kisses...OhSo{=}


MOfunNOWWOW 55F

3/21/2006 12:45 pm

LMFAO, you are always a treasure! 5 star General OHSO


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


ohsodelicious 57F
1922 posts
3/21/2006 8:16 pm

MO...Thanks I had a hard time reading them all I was laughing so hard...unfortunately it is a sad, sad truth

A 5 star salute...OhSo{=}


ohsodelicious 57F
1922 posts
3/21/2006 8:22 pm

fun...Glad you got a good laughI had tears running down my cheeks Sooo, What does 'PMSL' mean?? Does it have something to do with 'piss' LOL...just curious...not sure

Kisses...OhSo{=}


RockPebble 69M
2485 posts
3/24/2006 6:50 am

ohso,
I'm sorry but, You've been Tagged . Come to RockPebble and see my post 'Tagged'


ohsodelicious replies on 3/24/2006 5:27 pm:
Rock{=}It would seem we have all been 'tagged' a few times

Hugs...OhSo{=}

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
3/24/2006 9:25 pm

HaHaHa...Great collection ohso, and thankyou for your kind words and support at my place.

lustytaurus


ohsodelicious replies on 3/25/2006 7:23 pm:
Lusty I 'Pray' for your brothers' continued improvement...I will continue to check out your 'place' to ensure all is going 'well'

Big Consoling Hugs...OhSo{=}

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