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Just some more!!
Just some more!!
JOKE 1---A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle; I’m still a virgin.”
“What?” said the puzzled groom, “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”
“Well, husband # 1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back with me.
Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn’t get the system up.
Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband # 5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was...God, I miss him!
But now that I’ve married you, “I’m so excited!”
“Good,” said the husband, “but, Why?”
“Your with the Government,” This time I know I’m gonna get SCREWED!!
JOKE 2--–The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might get pregnant, and adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and, until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms. The girl started to laugh and reached over to hug her mother saying, “OH MUM! You don’t have to worry about that! I’m dating Susan!”
JOKE 3---A blind man was traveling in his private jet. When he detected something was wrong. He made his way to the cockpit
and got no response from his pilot. The blind guy then found the radio and started
calling the tower.
The tower came back and asked, “What’s the problem?”
The blind guy yelled, “Help me! I’m blind...the pilot is dead, and we’re flying
The tower comes back and asked, “How do you
know you’re upside down?”
“Because the $hit is running down my back!!”
12/10/2005 11:46 pm
Husband #10 better keep her happy, or she may just marry a puppeteer next LOL!|
The smiley faces are done with most of the normal combination of symbols & letters. You can click she "smiley key" hotlink above the "check spelling" box to the left of the box you use to post a comment. Because you are a premium member you have some more options than I have right now. I think they're one of the best things in the blogs.
12/10/2005 11:55 pm
I can't believe I didn't even include ONE face in my last post . Please don't tell anybody . Now I feel better |
in the above post...she = the
12/12/2005 5:47 am