Dear Mr. Abby...  

ohsodelicious 57F
1747 posts
12/29/2005 5:30 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Dear Mr. Abby...

Ever wondered what it would be like if ‘ Dear Abby’ was a man?

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best-friend and me?

A: Obviously, your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of
you he can only settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you’re still not sure then just perform oral on him.

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Sperm can help you loose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men knew this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day.

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband has to many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it’s a great time to clean the house too!). Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral on him.

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband doesn’t know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself whole doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep never giving me one.

A: I’m not sure I understand the problem.

Dear Mr. Abby:

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should - he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral on him.

RockPebble 69M
2484 posts
12/29/2005 11:33 am

ROF LMAO. Pearls of wisdom, every one.

Would you believe that the real column seems almost that funny from a man's perspective. When you consider how differently men and women view sex it's a wonder we reproduce at all. Happy new year.

divedog1960 56M
246 posts
1/9/2006 1:47 am

i got a good laugh
keep it up

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