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A Mixed Bag
A Mixed Bag
How can certain facets of your life be so perfectly in sync and others just pure disappointment? If it weren't for my baby, NB, I'm not sure how i could handle some of the issues i am going thru. She is beyond a shadow of a doubt, my rock, my best friend, my soulmate, my voice of reasoning and my desire. In 13 days she will be moving in with me. So you ask yourself, And your complaining? Well let me unload for awhile and then you'll see.
10 days ago, my water pipes under kitchen sink broke and caused severe water damage.It took over a week to get the counter,sink,and base cabinets out. There was severe structural damage caused from the water and even discovered some live termites. I'm pretty sure that issue has been resolved. Now had this happened in wintertime, this guy wouldn't of been able to fix it due to the cold. I live in a mobile home. A far cry from the 1400 square foot house i used to live in before i got divorce, but 1 thing i know for sure is it has a roof on it and it is my home. When NB is not here it is lonely here. I am on unemployment because i was fired from my job because i refused to falsify Documentation stating i was doing lab work the company i worked for didn't want me to do. Last summer i worked my ass off and quite frankly i got burn-out. My idea of a summer isn't averaging a work week consisting of 72 hours and 6 days gone from home. I can remember 1 day actually getting home at 6:50 P.M. one evening and i fixed myself a sandwich and sat on the couch. Next thing i knew was it was 7:00 A.M.. There i was sitting in the position where i was the night b4, still in work clothes and with one helluva stiff neck. So it's easy to see why burn-out occured. Because of the burn-out, i decided that i was gonna let the unemployment run the whole gammut which would allow me to rest and relax thru May and into the 1st week of June. I met NB on February 3rd and we have been inseperatable since. We spend every available minute together. Yesterday was such an up and down day. It started out bad, My dryer went on the fritz. So i spent the morning at laundromat doing wash while NB got some overdue quiet time and this allowed her to get caught up on blogging and posting to the AdultFriendFinder group of which we are member's of, FTLS. I got home from doing laundry and was so depressed that dryer now wasn't working and running figures thru my head that obviously indicated what was an already super tight budget now was gonna have another added expense. It bummed me out so i went up to lay on bed and broke down from the stress and cried myself to sleep. What happened after that was very uplifting. See Naughtyblondes Blog post Afternoon Delight. After that afternoon session with NB i was on a good high. We headed over to my mom's to have dinner with her and do the rest of the laundry and dry everything from the morning wash marathon. On the way there, i stopped at my mailbox to retrieve my mail. Wow my unemployment check had arrived but there was also a 2nd letter from unemployment. I pretty much figured it was my 30 day notice of my unemployment being done. I opened neither as we drove to mom's. I decided to open the letter that wasn't my check. It was my notice that my unemployment was over. Nice of them to give me such a notice. What a harsh pit came over my stomach, i wanted to puke. NB knew it was bad news i saw her looking at me out of the corner of my eye. She asked me, is it what i thought it was? I said yes but worse. My unemployment is now terminated. She said oh baby and her hand was placed on my leg in comfort. I drove as i was in a state of shock. How could this be happening to me? What had i done to deserve this? I kept glancing at the paycheck. I had not opened it. Then it hit me. Please dear god, no, please don't let it be. I opened it. I nearly wrecked. My check, my final check, half the amount it should of been. What a fucking nightmare this was turning into.I believe things happen for a reason, sometimes we may not know why or it takes a while for the reason to come come to light. So many things racing through my mind, so many things to think about,I will overcome this. It may not be easy, it may not be quick, but i will overcome. I am so thankful my voice of reasoning, NB, is there for me. For her support i am eternally grateful. I Love You Baby!!!!
5/12/2006 8:10 am
life is a bitch..........|
and there's nothing to do but keep on truckin'
so take those moments of unadulterated joy and hold them deep in your heart - those are the moments that build, grow, nurture, keep you moving forward
your life is not about the laundry, or the schmucks at unemployment - it is about you and NB and love and the sound of rain on the roof, the smell of lilacs through your window -
yesterday, i helped bathe a woman who is homeless and who also has severe mental illness - she handed me a dandelion and smiled
that's life - the rest is just stuff ya gotta do
You cannot conceive the many without the one.
5/12/2006 8:17 am
OC... have been there a few times. You will survive and thrive from this. You have someone very supportive at your side, but she can't do it all. You need to help yourself. The world is at your fingertips, only you don't know it yet. Keep reaching...its there!|
Now quit reading this, hitch up your jockstrap, and go send out a few resumes!
(tough love brother!)
5/12/2006 10:46 am
BIG BIG HUGS TO YOU OC. So sorry this had to happen to such a nice man. I know the feeling hun. My disability is being reviewed thanks to someone telling SSD that they seen me out in my yard doing gardening....what a laugh.....if you could see my yard you would think what garden where.....cause there is no garden because my dogs would destroy it. I would help you if I could hun. Just a suggestion for the washer/dryer check out freecycle in your area...sometimes people have perfectly good things to give away just to free up space in their garage or something. As for the job...ummmmmmm as Craven said get that resume typed up and start filling out apps. If you need help typing it up let me know I would be more than happy to help in any way I can.|
I'm here if ya need a vent.
5/12/2006 10:48 am
Oh and there is more to my disability story just not gonna put it here....this is your blog and honestly I can handle others problems better than my own.|
5/12/2006 12:23 pm
OhC, honey... life sucks. It will get better. When ya are feeling down just look at that beautiful woman beside you and remember that good things do happen to you. I agree with Fuzzy about freecycle and the resume. Hugs to the two of you....for some reason I know that the two of you will get thru this stronger and more in love.|
5/12/2006 1:30 pm
OC having been on unemployment before I know how you feel. If they have terminated it early, then it is within your rights to appeal the decision, but if it is that close to the end anyway it's time to find that job you need. You are in my prayers & thoughts. It will get better my friend.|
5/12/2006 7:06 pm
OC read your blog earlier today and had to think for a while and this is what came to me |
There are many
We hope we make it thru
Taking each step carefully
But life gives us things
Who love and care for us
Who help us make it thru uncertainties
They give us strength
They give us their love
Totally and unconditionally
They hold us up when we fall
When life throws it’s worst
No matter what it is
They are always there
Wrapping you in their loving arms
They know exactly what to say
To put a smile back on your face
The uncertainties not always solved
But together it can be possible
Life gives us love
Finding one’s heart desire
To face the uncertainties with
Together wrapped in each others arms
you are in my thoughts and prays also
Da Lusty Wench aka Maiden
5/13/2006 9:11 am
Big fat warm hugz from me to you!!!|
BTW..... The cam is working beautifully! Just gotta run out for some Tootsie Pops!