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Just an FYI...
Just an FYI...
Tomorrow (monday) is the full moon ~ also known as the "Blood Moon" ~ and it just happens to be in my personal astrological Fire Sign of Aries this month.
Oddly enough, there is also a Lunar Eclipse at approximately 8 : 04 am (that is, the Earth passes between the Sun and Moon, and Earth's shadow is cast over the moon ). I can't say what will be visible at 8 in the morning, though.
There was a Solar eclipse just two weeks ago ~ on the New Moon, which was also on a Monday (the 3rd). Quite the unique month we're having here, to say the least.
So, with that out of the way ~ let me go dig up some jokes from the archives...
T. G. I. F.
A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a buxom blonde already inside, and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F."
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."
She gave him a puzzled looked and again said, "T-G-I-F."
He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."
The blond was trying her best to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possible, "T-G-I-F" another time.
The man smiled back at her, and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T."
The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday! Get it?"
The man looked at her with a grin, and answered, "S-H-I-T...Sorry, Honey, it's Thursday."
A guy gets home from work one night, and just as he is entering the house he hears a voice in his head. The voice tells him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money and go to Vegas." Obviously the man is quite disturbed at what he hears, but decides to just ignore the voice.
The next day, when he gets home from work, the same thing happens. The voice tells him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money and go to Vegas." Again, the man ignores the voice, though he is noticeably more troubled by the event.
Every day, day after day, the man hears the same voice when he gets home from work, "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money and go to Vegas." Each time the man hears the voice, he becomes increasingly upset.
Finally, after two weeks of this going on, he succumbs to the pressure. He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money and hops a plane to Vegas.
The moment the man gets off the plane in Vegas, he again hears the voice ~ this time telling him, "Go to Harrahs." So, he jumps in the first available cab he can find and rushes over to Harrahs.
As soon as he sets foot in the casino, the voice tells him, "Go to the roulette table."
The man does as he is told. He promptly goes over to the roulette table, when the voice tells him, "Put all your money on 17."
With nervous, trembling hands the man cashes in his money for chips and makes the wager, putting everything he has on 17.
The dealer wishes the man good luck, and spins the roulette wheel. Around and around the ball bounces and caroms. The man anxiously watches the ball as it slowly loses speed, and finally it settles into number . . . 21.
The voice exclaims, "Fuck."
Love Those Automated Menu’s
"Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.”
“If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.”
“If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.”
“If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.”
“If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace this call.”
“If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.”
“If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.”
Enjoy! }: )~