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Ten mistakes new swingers make:
Ten mistakes new swingers make:
10 - No pictures on your profile. - Pictures give people a LOT of information about you. Your choice of pictures, graphic or tasteful, alone reveals much about your character. If you are a couple, have at least one pic showing the male-half; couples looking for other couples also want to see what the guy looks like. You can obscure your face if concerned about privacy, but anyone interested in meeting you will eventually want to know what you both look like. A picture is worth 10,000 words. And, displaying a crummy pic is worse than having none at all.
9 - Men posting pictures of just your dick. - Though there may be subtle differences between them, most women know that every guy has one. A Dick Pic doesn't say anything about the character of the guy it's attached to. It may come even come across as saying: "The most distinguishing thing I can say about me is my dick".
8. Not swinging with people who live in the same town. - Hey, it beats driving across the country and staying in a motel. Swingers in the same town might be available for that last-minute free Saturday night date. So what if you run into them in the grocery store. Say Hi.. Nobody else in town knows you guys are swingers. You have a greater potential of becoming close friends with swingers living in the same town as you.
7. Talking about other people in the Lifestyle. - What goes on in the Lifestyle should stay in the Lifestyle. Don't share your experiences about one couple to another couple. It's bad taste, implies that you lack discretion and that you don't respect other's privacy. It can also come back to bite you, what goes around eventually comes around. Who is sharing stories about YOU?
6. Profiles that are too brief. - Your profile says way more about you than you may realize. We're all very sexy people or we wouldn't have a profile to begin with. Try to convey something about your values rather than merely your hobbies. Say something about your attitudes and outlook; describe the characteristics you find attractive about other people's pics or profile. Be mindful of spelling and grammar. And if you feel compelled to say to people that you have "class", then you don't have it. Think about how people will feel about you after they read your profile. What do they learn about you when they read between the lines? Finally, it's not necessary to remind people that discretion is a must.. Duh; that's important to all of us.
5. Not being assertive - Note, the word is assertive, not aggressive. Swingers are by nature gregarious and generally open to meeting new people. Yet countless times we have watched couples sitting off by themselves at an event, waiting for someone else to take the initiative and contact them. You'll have a lousy evening if you wait for people to come to you. Get up, move around, talk to people, introduce yourself, initiate contact. If you're new to the Lifestyle then tell them so. If the two of you sit off in the corner holding hands your body language may convey that you're "too uptight to be approachable".
4. Men, not using male-enhancement drugs. - The male sex organ is a remarkably complex neuro-vascular system. But, It doesn't always function on command. Achieving and maintaining multiple erections over the course of an evening is a demanding task. It doesn't say anything negative about your "manhood" to use modern medical miracles to enhance your Lifestyle experience. Just consider it a "recreational drug". Don't be shy about asking your doctor, it's extremely likely he's using it too.
3. No single men. - Keep an open mind, single men have their place in the lifestyle. The capacity for women to have multiple orgasms far exceeds men's in this area. Men also have the requirement to maintain an erection, sometimes difficult to do in prolonged party or club situations. Courteous and respectful single men can share the "workload" and help to add to the woman's experience. They're not always appropriate in all swinging situations, but don't dismiss outright their potential contribution to the overall fun.
2. Thinking you need to be good friends with a couple to play with them. - You are already friends with everyone in the Lifestyle because we all share openness about having recreational sex. Now, your "friendship" may only last as long as that one evening you met at a club or party, but each encounter is unique and special. Think about how difficult it is to maintain friendships with your straight friends. People move, have families, demands at work and otherwise lead busy lives. Remember, basically it's just sex; if you become close friends from as a result, great - but don't restrict yourself to needing to be "soul mates" in order to play. It's all good.
1 - Not responding to people contacting you. - If someone takes the initiative to contact you, they are in effect making themselves attraction vulnerable to rejection. Every one who initiates contact with you deserves the courtesy of a reply. If you're not interested, fine. A respectful "No, but thanks anyway" shows a lot of class on your part. - Ignoring someone hoping they will go away is just plain rude.
1/2/2006 8:36 pm
well now we know|