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My flight home leaves in a couple of hours. I’m anxious to see my family. I have not had a chance to be back since before last Christmas. Which, to be honest, has been a little tough, we are a pretty close family.
My Mom was nagging me to bring someone with me to this upcoming wedding. But since I’m not seeing anyone at the moment, there was no one to bring. I thought about asking this girl I work with, she’s pretty and smart and funny, but there is an office policy against dating, although, that does not seem to stop people from hooking up around the place. Take my boss for instance, who was the genius behind the policy, he’s been banging his secretary since she started working here four years ago. Everyone knows. They fuck right in his office. You can hear them. They even leave the door open sometimes. I guess the rules do not apply to management.
So, I’m going stag to the wedding. Maybe I’ll hook up, maybe not.
One thing I am looking forward to is seeing my cousin, Alice. I haven’t seen her in about three years. I’ve heard that she lost almost sixty pounds and had some plastic surgery to remove the loose skin and perk up her breasts. This is what my mother tells me while on the phone. Like I wanted to know about my cousin’s breasts.
I really miss her. We’re about the same age, she’s a year older, a fact I always mention to her. It’s our little joke. We have always been really close. She’s one of my best friends. There is nothing I cannot tell her or that we cannot talk about. We talk on the phone sometimes, not as often as I’d like.
I cannot wait to see her.
I’m not crazy about flying. I always get stuck next to one of two people. The Sleeper, who sleeps through the entire flight, which is not a terrible thing, but they always end up against me; or the Talker, who talks through the entire flight. Either way, I’m screwed. I never get to sit next to the hot, horny woman that wants to be part of the mile high club again.
Twice my friend, Jim, has had sex with a stranger on a plane. He’s only been on two flights his entire life. I hate how some people have luck like that. He could be in convent and still get laid. I told Jim about this place. He’s supposed to check it out.
God… I really need to get laid. It’s been longer than I care to admit. Hopefully, something will happen this weekend.