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Pondering loving young women
Pondering loving young women
it's an exciting proposition: being in my late 20s, trying to figure out where i should draw the line on how young a woman is fine to be with.
over the last year i've had splendid time with a quite young woman. she's 19 now, was 18 then.
i met her when i was at a colleague's house. he's in his late forties and his daughter is 19. her friend is who i found interesting that night. deeply thoughtful, artistic, outgoing, very physically attractive, an old soul, wise beyond her years, yet with the lack of life experience of someone young.
after weeks of talking with folks about how young is too young, i finally decided to contact her and ask her for coffee. we met and continued to hit it off like that evening.
over a short time we developed a great romantic and sexual relationship. she was far from a virgin and had good ideas about the valuable role of orgasms in her life.
the context, though, was not a regular relationship. she was dating a guy who was not into sex, yet anyway. he's a born again christian and born again virgin [a fascinating concept], so he didn't want to do anything past kissing and hugging with her. and being quite horny she was interested in a relationship with me. friends with benefits seems to work for her as not a contradiction to her relationship with this guy, whom she loves--understandable becuase he sounds like a nice guy.
ultimately, she has no interest in ending her relationship with this guy and advancing ours. and i am fine with that as i enjoy my freedom and lack of the "requirements" that come with relationships. my last "gf" before her was 38, married with 2 kids, sexually bored and nicely discreet and i was happy to respect that. she also sang really great shania twain songs with a similar voice...but that's neither here nor there.
anyway, my young friend with benefits is a fantastic person whom i click with and share many interests and hobbies. the age gap is not a problem, but it does mean that we don't relate well because she lacks cultural references, but for what we've got going that's no problem. but if i were interested in developing a serious relationship, her half-generation difference would get in the way.
but here's the problem. 3-4 times a month i'm sipping orange juice after our mornings together, watching her walk out of the shower or something and i truly feel in love with her. and for those moments i want to be with her all the time. but that passes when we start talking and she shows the scope of her life and her lack of living.
it seems that it's just an impractical desire to want anything more, but i sure enjoy those moments when i love her. moments that make me wish she were older or i were younger and we could relate better.
any thoughts or comments? i'm dying to get perspective and since ours is a kind of discreet relationship IRL, i'd like to get some feedback from folks in here.
thanks in advance!
4/22/2005 12:41 pm
Enjoy what you have but don't push for more. Be her friend outside of the sex part and maybe she'll see you ultimately as a more well-rounded man than her boyfriend. Good luck.|