On the Subject of Being Sad  

noordinarychic2 48F
510 posts
7/16/2006 5:39 am

Last Read:
7/17/2006 2:32 pm

On the Subject of Being Sad

So I though my best friend going to Vegas was bad...NOT...you always hear "be careful what you pray for"...lol...well what you don't hear is that not only should you be careful what you pray for but expect that God, with his crazy ass sense of humor, will never answer you quite the way you expect. Bottom line, the man who has been my anchor for the last two years is leaving....not just leaving...like across town leaving but 2000 miles..going back to Texas leaving. I'm numb. I try to tell myself that its for the best...well yeah best for him....lol...hey come on, let me be selfish at least for awhile. I keep thinking about that moment in the not-so-distant future when all i will see is his tail lights...actually I'll be driving his jeep to Texas and flying back so I guess its that last glimpse of him through security that I'm dreading...he says we will always be close...phone calls, emails, trips to see each other but come on....reality is reality...i just keep thinking "who will I call in the middle of the night?" "who's going to help me with my homework?" "who's going to take me to see the latest movie?" "who's going to just be there?"....he's not saying much...this hit him out of the blue too...but he's a man so the tears...well i guess I can only go by the night he told me....they're there...and there will be more...anyway...its been a god awful week...I've been basically putting one foot in front of the other...just getting through....I've never heard "i love you" so much as I have this week...I guess its hard for me to see that he's upset too..you men don't let it show....but i wish you would...then I wouldn't feel so alone in my misery...its funny...i thought i'd be dealing with having him entangled in my every day life...now i get to deal with him being 2000 miles away...i haven't decided yet which i want more......i'm dreading the tears again...once they start...well...he's back from Vegas on Tuesday....got a few days to go get some "floaty" things...you know those inflatible arm bands children wear...that way I won't accidently drown in my sadness... oh well...at least I'm still smiling...a very sad, very lonely, very upset with her God (yeah I know..what good does that do?) NOC2

absolutelynormal 56F
6563 posts
7/16/2006 6:36 am

SOrry, noordinary. Keep blogging it helps. MAc

midwestboy1972 44M  
663 posts
7/17/2006 4:32 am

The short and sweet of it is that men suck. The world I grew up in was very harsh and all kinds of emotion was frowned upon. But at any rate, you've been smart enough to pick up on the signals and know that he hurts too! Remember, he'll be looking for your strength too!

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