Missing My Friend  

noordinarychic2 48F
510 posts
7/28/2006 12:11 am

Last Read:
7/28/2006 12:35 pm

Missing My Friend

I miss my friend...so very very much. How did this happen? what happened? i don't understand. Last week it was "good mornings" and "good nights" and lets go to lunch and hey I'm gonna cook you dinner and spend the night (albeit in pj's) and "what's your schedule today" and "i love u" and "i'll never leave you" etc...and now...nothing. For the first time since i started school i took an exam without his voice or a text from him telling me how smart I was and that he knew i'd get an A....i wanted so badly to tell him how i did...but my pride is wounded and my ego...shot. Last night when i called and he didn't want to talk to me...I don't understand. How could I be so important one day and so disposable the next. This man has been an everyday part of my life for two years. How? He's done so much...gone far and above friendship and yet in the course of three days ...he's gone. Gone. He sent me a text today just telling me he was ok...and he hoped i was...i wanted to send back..."no...i'm miserable...i miss you so much...tell me what i did...or why you are doing this"...but i guess in my heart of hearts i knew this day was coming....and if i'm honost...i was hoping i would have met someone by now that could take the sting of this away. Nothing in my day seems right without him in it. nothing....i had an awful day at work...usually i'd call him...school was great...again usually we'd talk. For two nights i haven't sent the text message i've sent for two years... "sweet dreams"...my only guess is that he's trying to move on and can't do it without me gone. this fits into his statement that he's "tired of basing all his life decisions on what will or will not hurt noc2"....and well...i guess in the long run it will be best. Now i can only thing of tomorrow...i was supposed to go to his apt between my shifts just to hang out...guess not. and sunday.. our "date" day...we usually go to the movies or have dinner or just hang out...again guess not. Its all ego and pride. I'm hurt and bewildered that i can so easily be tossed aside... and for what? who knows....well this chic is staying strong....I've got so much ahead of me in life....and there is a man out there who is just waiting for someone like me...and one day our paths will cross...but until then I'll just keep reminding myself that i was a good friend...i stood beside him through so much...as he did me....and if he is willing to toss all of that out...then he's the loser. friends are hard to come by....and two years...the intimacy that comes with time won't be replaced overnight......but i'm done being the doormat friend....and the way this has been handled is cruel....and mean and i deserve better.....nite noc2

midwestboy1972 44M  
663 posts
7/28/2006 4:28 am

Sweetie, he does love you any less, he's just in guy withdrawl mode. He's leaving, it hurts like hell, he sees he's hurting you like hell, and it's all way to much to deal with. So he leaves early. Physically he's still her, but mentally he's gone.

Congrats on your test! Go out and dance some of this stress off and have a drink for me

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