|Blogs > nkidu > Porn Addiction|
*This entry is from a previous sex diary I had on another site but thought it was funny as it was relevant to AdultFriendFinder! hehe*
It sucks being constantly horny and having no outlet besides masterbation to subdue yourself. There's one site I've been considering joining, adultfriendfinders, to find a fuck buddy!
But then I hesitate...
I've always had this fear of STD's since like the 5th grade! I mean we were taught about STD's a long time ago, and one thing that they taught us was that everytime you have sex with someone you're having sex with all their partners! They even brought out this whole tree structure diagram of sexual partners and how having sex with one person who has had sex with someone before you have the potential of having sex with 1000's of people!! I'm sure there was a lot of scare tactics involved with that learning but it made me think...
I've only had 4 partners in my life...
My first partner had no other partners before me. We were both young and right out of HS. But sexually she had issues...turns out she was hiding the fact that she was really lesbian for most of our relationship. I knew she was bi because we often would fuck while watching other women on tv or while looking at a magazine. That was fucking nice being able to pound her yet at the same time mentally fucking another hot woman. We had dabbled in the idea of bringing another woman into our relationship but never built up the nerve to do it, more of a fantasy.
The second long term partner was very sexual. Our first meeting we wound up in bed..she had this really skinny waist and was slender in size so much so that when I stuck my cock in her the first time it was the best squeeze I felt in a long time. She and fucked hard that night so much so that she said her arms fell asleep! Suffice it to say we were pretty damn active during that relationship...she let me do so much shit to her...we had sex outdoors, on her aunt couch, behind her parents barn (she was a farm kid) just off a very busy high way, she let me lay her out on the top of the hood of our car and fuck her. She was more shy though sexually. I brought out a lot of her sexuality but she was still very shy to express her own fantasies.
The third was after that relationship ended, she was more of a friend turned benefits. She wasn't very attractive in the face and honestly she was larger than me in size but had these nice sized tits. She loved giving head and would just go down on me like no tomorrow. One time she was doing me so fantastically that I just started to scream out 'Yes yes!' over and over so loud that I'm sure my neighbors heard! Her sucking was such a turn on to me that one time before we went out to eat I had to get down her throat. She took me all the way down and gobbled up my cum so much that she wasn't hungry any more. mmm Oh and she was fucking fun to titfuck!! mmm I remember riding on top of her tits once and came so hard I just spewed all over her face...she wasn't very happy with that and wiped my cum off quick but part of me smirked knowing that I gave her a facial....
The fourth was the slutty one. I had met her about a year later. Our first night was ended up in bed also. We spent a lot of time together and it was more of a romantic relationship than a fuck friend....she loved to be tied up and photographed but my favorite was that she was a porn freak too. We'd fuck night after night watching porns together. It was a blast being able to not only get all excited by other people having sex but also she's simulate the porn star and let me fuck her in the same manner...fucking her was hot. She had been around though as she had been with over 25 guys so I was pretty paranoid about having sex without condoms. But one night we go hot and heavy and I couldn't control myself. I played with her pussy with my cock and before I knew it we were fucking bare skinned. I crossed the fear of 'previous lovers' and we fucked like animals. She was a freak too wanting it all the time and believe me I enjoyed it! She bought a digital camera to which we used extensively (still have some of her photos at home hehe). Too bad our relationship ended because all we had in common was sex...it was fun while it lasted..she was getting more interesting in just finding fling as she kept hitting on other guys and I was just tired of her shit. I wanted something real and she wanted to fuck...
That was the last, and suffice it to say I had STD checkups after her which I passed with flying colors!
Now I'm in limbo...been that way for a while now...I know I want to fuck and need to fuck but at the same time I don't want to end up starting yet another relationship just to end it. I've had a lot of cyberfuck friends, and a few phone fuck friends since then, but nothing has turned into a fuck friend or anything more...I know that I want something more than just a fuck friend, but at the same time I'm horny as hell all the time. I find myself jacking off 3-4 times a day! ugh
I had met the fifth one about 9 months ago, she wasn't overly attractive but we connected right off the bad. The spark she and I shared made me really wonder about what kind of a connection she and I had, so I persued it....my first time over to her house she needed help decorating her bathroom walls which I didn't mind doing, but being in a close bathroom space and getting all kind of wall treatment all over ourselves, we wound up stripping off our clothes, taking a shower and fucking in the shower. It was one of those moment that we just kind of jumped into so suffice it to say it was pretty intense! Our sex life never really shot off as I found her less attractive than I thought because she was very 'naturalistic' in nature (not just not shaving anywhere, but her lack of perfumes wasn't to my delight), but also because our schedules conflicted a lot and we'd end up hooking up after midnight to which we'd end up fucking (sometimes) and falling asleep. It wasn't much of a 'relationship' and after a while the sex dwindled off. I still see her as a friend, but we decided that where things were going wasn't what we both wanted.
I still am alone and honry a LOT!!! I still jack off quite a bit...but now I'm focusing on other things until someone hot comes along that keeps me entertained! hehe
Yeah my numbers aren't alot but that doesn't mean that when I'm with someone I don't fuck that much because well I do! hehe
4/20/2006 10:56 am
Have you heard the expression "It will be greater later"?|
Take your time and find the right one.It's taken me almost two years to find Mr. Bambi.Or should I say he found me.
But trust me it was worth the wait.We are truly soul mates.
Hang in there.