Forgive and Forget?  

nikid_64 52F
196 posts
7/26/2006 1:08 pm

Last Read:
10/31/2006 8:39 am

Forgive and Forget?

There was an interesting thread brought up in my local group Tampa Area Sex Assoc it got me to thinking. I try not to judge people but I believe that with me it's more getting my feelings hurt than anything else. I'm way to sensitive and if someone hurts me then it's hard for me to get over this. On the other hand if someone is big enough to apologize to me then I let it go and move on. I'm not talking about someone who hurts me deeply but just silly misunderstandings. I'm not sure at what point I should just let it go and not harbor ill feelings toward this person. I have had my feeling hurt by several members of AdultFriendFinder and two I miss more than anything, the others I could care less about. I have long ago made my life as drama free as possible but I'm only human and things people have said do hurt but should I just over look it, or feel like a door mat and take whatever people dish out? This is my question to all you out in Blogville.....let it go, be happy, and be a bigger person and make up with these people or live my life the way I always have which is ignore them completely? I'm waiting to hear your feedback. If you've hurt my feelings and would like to say your sorry your welcome to do so.

2daycowboywanted 45F

7/26/2006 1:38 pm

One should never harbor ill feelings towards another human - then again we as humans know that this is not possible.

The right choice would be to reach out and say let by gones be by gones. That does not mean that you have to speak with them on a daily, weekly, monthly or yearly basis it just means you have let it go and moved on.

That alone will leave them scratching their heads.

Until later

nikid_64 replies on 7/26/2006 2:32 pm:
Wonderful advice, thank you so much.

Niki {=}

buddhamike 105M
7006 posts
7/26/2006 1:50 pm

In general, your happiness should not be based on the actions, opinions or beliefs of someone else. So I suppose that is saying, more or less, ignore them. (and a thought on the Gandi quote, forgiveness is part of how the weak become strong! It's not really a denial of his thought just a subtle aspect of it)

nikid_64 replies on 7/26/2006 2:34 pm:
Good point, thanks for your input....

Niki {=}

__poet__ 45M
3583 posts
7/26/2006 3:03 pm

I'm glad you liked my thread...Hope you will like many more, and I am sure not like some too. Thanks for joining and opening up. It is good to see you around! And as always...thanks for sharing!


"There are no shortcuts to life's greatest achievements; therefore we take these risks not to escape life but to prevent life from escaping us!"poet
Come visit my little corner to hide...

nikid_64 replies on 7/26/2006 3:30 pm:
I enjoy your mind, and threads. I hope that I'm a long time member and get to meet you soon.

Niki {=}

rm_geewizzzz2 56M

7/27/2006 11:47 am

OOOPS! I guess I might be one of those who misspoke,much to my genuine dismay. I'm sure we all have heard these funny repartee's just begging for the opportunity to use them,only to have it backfire to some extent. Especially in this medium where body language and cues are noticeably absent. I'm a kidder by nature,usually sensitive to the feelings of others,but occasionally prone to gaffes of some kind or other and there's no excuse for it. I hope this is taken for an apology which it certainly is if I am an offender.

Now,having called attention to my P's 'n Q's, I'll really have to pay attention!

nikid_64 replies on 7/27/2006 12:38 pm:
I'm sorry I have no idea who you are, or why you think you owe me an apology darlin but thanks anyway...

Niki {=}

JNines 68M  
143 posts
7/29/2006 3:46 am

There is enough negativity in the world and there are plenty of insensitive people. Unfortunately, we have to intereact with the world and these people. However, we should do so selectively. There is no reason a person as bright and insightful as you should need to put up with insensitive, insulting behavior. Therefore, let the person know they have offended you, forgive them in your heart (so you can be free)and move on to more positive pursuits. Much like a wound that scabs over and heals in layers, it will take time for the insult to go away. However, it will be a distant memory after a while as you absorb yourself in your other positive pursuits.

rm_marnisway 85F
5018 posts
7/30/2006 7:12 pm

...I can't imagine...but it happens. They say what goes around comes around...but we never know when. In the meantime ...enjoy what there is out there.



Nothing is ever the same... when it comes to pleasures.

with a hint....the erotic senses will manifest into an abounding mess of flesh

the mind needs fulfillment of the body

if it feels good is good

I've done it again...*S*

chocolatino4u 47M
4 posts
7/31/2006 7:15 am

I am new to this and I find you very attractive woman. Are you a member of the mile high club or would like to be? I would love to see you caressing your beautiful body for me at a mile high and reaching an unforgetable orgasm. Let me know.

Tone_33756 55M

7/31/2006 8:56 am

The only person who is hurt by kept hostilties - is the person doing the holding.

For selfish and mental heath reasons, people must learn to let things go.

Again, welcome to TASA

rm_gatttorbait 57M
444 posts
8/1/2006 8:25 am

... kill them with kindness sweetie .... it wont cost you anything...

... they say it takes many muscles to frown... but only one to smile...

.... so smile .... it's energy well spent in my humble opinion ...

... it's much easier to let things go... than to harbor bad feelings...

.... btw... if it is meant for you to have these friends you miss... they must want the friendship also... then what will be will be... try not to stress too much ... *smiles* ...

justreal4real 59F

8/15/2006 11:02 am

I think in any circle of friends it is always wise to watch your back. I don't mean you have to be paranoid, but I think it is just a fact of life that most people will do what they have to do to get what they want - even if that means hurting others in the process.
I agree that it is probably always best to forgive and forget but, in all honesty, we are only human - driven by human emotions. Touch a stove and get burned a time or two and you stop touching that stove, right?
I think it boils down to the Golden Rule basically - treat people the way you want to be treated. That includes taking responsibility for criticism when warranted. I certainly don't want to get away with hurting someone else just to have my ego or body stroked by another. Wrong is wrong, no matter how pretty the paper is you wrap it in.
If someone did or said something hurtful to you, and they come to you with a sincere apology, then I think it is best to accept the apology. Sometimes it is hard to determine which words are sincere and which are meaningless. I guess it is something each of us has to find out on our own.
Sorry for the long-winded response. Bottom line - forgive, but don't be fooled again. Does that make sense?

nikid_64 replies on 8/15/2006 12:28 pm:
Yes I understand what your saying, I do agree with you. Thanks for your input in my blog...


rm_pagan380 64M
4405 posts
8/16/2006 2:35 am

I see you've dropped by my BLOG so in return I've dropped by yours. Yes, I'm still hoping our friendship so fleeting has a chance to rebound after the silly things that where said about me and by me. I'm not the bad guy just a guy like most looking for friends and finding some and losing some. Hope we get the chance to talk in person again sometime, without drama. Your still welcome at the Beavers door whenever and wherever shs's parked.

Come play naked in the sunshine and dance naked under the stars.


redheadedangel33 48F

8/19/2006 8:15 pm

I know at one time I hurt you and I am sorry I did. I am glad you sent me the email you did and I am so glad your back around. you are always so much fun to be around and you have the sweetest personality. I probably need to take a page out of your book and let some things go that have been bothering me


david43212 72M

8/20/2006 3:38 pm

Here is the way the world works: everyone gets betrayed, hurt, treated unfairly, scorned, lied about and sometimes even crushed.
Each of these events - and the deep pain each one causes - is an opportunity. We grow stronger and more important, Bigger, if we forgive and let go of our anger/resentment/bitterness. The only way to forgive is to grow Bigger: you become a larger person inhabiting a larger world. The betrayal, lies, scorn, damage or injury that we suffered starts to appear smaller in our new, larger world, our growing inner landscape. "I called upon the Lord in my distress and the Lord answered me and set me in a large place." Ps: 118.5
Holding on to anger, bitterness or resentment is exactly like taking poison yourself and hoping the other person dies. Anger, bitterness & resentment only hurt you, no one else. I've seen people die from it, many people. But forgiveness, hard as it is, makes you grow, allows you to grow, become bigger and live in a larger universe. Pretty soon, the people who betrayed you, hurt you, damaged your life in some terrible way, start to appear small, impotent, not worth your attention. Life is a gymnasium: no pain, no gain.
Can you imagine what kind of person you would be if you went through life and NO ONE ever hurt you, betrayed you, lied to you, treated you unfairly, damaged you. How would you withstand the bitter winter wind? A warm breeze would knock you down. Thus, your "enemies" are really your best friends: they toughen you up, give you opportunities to grow bigger and stronger [if you chose to!]
This is the way the world works. David

lvrboy69701 44M

8/22/2006 8:06 am

Niki, I am in the same boat as you. In fact I just wrote a blog poll about it. I hate people being uncaring and hurtful. Now it is to the point that I have to ask which TASA members are going to be at an event so as to avoid further harrassment. If it was a guy, one could ask him to step outside.

longhairman0013 46M
110 posts
8/26/2006 10:16 pm

i think when someone has said something hurtful, it is just as important to make peace as it is to express your feelings. its one thing to forgive and move on, and a noble thing at that. but it is difficult to move on if you dont feel that your grievance has been heard at least. so express yourself, dont apologize how you feel. if you can remember to look at things from their point of view, they are sure to be able to see things from yours.

i remember you being one of the first people i invited to my network, then you disappeared. i didnt offend, did i>

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