Public and Private Lives.  

nightstogether 56M
818 posts
6/6/2005 2:13 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Public and Private Lives.

papyrina posed the question, in response to my post on asking questions, of how I balance the public side of my life - politics, high publicity in the local area and so on - with the private side of my life - as mentioned a few times in my Blog.

What, she wondered, would happen if my private life were exposed for all to see.

It is a strange situation for someone who is in the public eye, as I am in my local area. Constant reports in the newspapers, various positions of trust and responsibility balanced against a private life which, for many, may seem to be quite wild and, because of its nature, unlikely to gain much acceptance by a majority of people in a more conservative society. The town that I live in is relatively conservative in nature and outlook, there is no getting away from it. We have no outlandish institutions, clubs or bars where the wild life, or the highly sexual life, can be enjoyed unless one travels to one of the brothels near here - there are three or four. That said, brothels are not my thing anyway.

Over the years I have successfully separated my private and public lives completely. I do not allow them to overlap in any way. My normal work, writing, is the only area where one might find a slight overlap in that I construct or compose works of an erotic nature for publication alongside works of a more serious nature, such as book reviews and the like. This separation is, for me, very important indeed.

My private sexual life does not happen here. I take my personal experiences from places outside of the normal social life enjoyed by almost all people in the area, and often travel many miles in order to find what I desire. Trips to the capital or the major cities are not unusual; partially because such enjoyments are not available here and partially because I wish to keep my private side separated.

We have the problem - not just here but in most countries in the Western world - that a person in the public view hardly ever has a truely private life to enjoy. Everything is open to scrutiny; everything is fair game for certain types of publications. Mainly, it must be said, these revelations occur to those people in the higher offices, or in the spotlight of the national or international sphere, which I am not. Often revelations of a person's life may be well known facts in the community, but never officially published or discussed openly because the subject, the person involved, is still alive or has done nothing which might justify such publication. It is a sad fact of life that a person's death will often lead to their vilification in the press, especially if they have been involved in anything which might be considered scandalous although not illegal.

My private life remains intact and safe because, as with most thoughtful people - and I consider myself reasonably thoughtful! - do not lower themselves to illegal actions. Having relationships with other people of a sexual nature is not illegal here; the clubs and bars which I visit are often open to all and the events staged within their doors are events which concern consenting adults. People not inclined to a certain way of life go their own way.

However, a certain amount of discretion is still required. I know that there are people who go about looking to find people that they know, ot hoping to avoid people that they know. I have seen posts here made as a result of someone revealing personal details to other family members or to employers which have caused embarrassement and, possibly, more. For many people such openness could be fatal.

However, I allow my picture to appear on this site, and I occasionally write about sexual events I have taken part in; experiences from my private life. I realise that the chances are quite high someone I know on the public side of life will come across an entry here or elsewhere that makes them feel uncomfotable. It is a risk that each and everyone of us takes. It is a risk that arises in every facet of our lives, rather like the possibility of an accident or similar. It is a risk, moreover, worth taking, in my opinion.

Wouldn't it be far worse to hold my private life completely secret and have it revealed in a blaze of publicity later? I have, in reality, nothing to hide and, should my private life be made public at a later date I can say, relaxed and sure of myself, that I have broken no laws; I have injured no one; I have never completely hidden whatever it is that I do.

I live my life to the full, in all of its aspects, and accept all the risks that come with it from day to day.

private-intellectual (.de)

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
6/6/2005 6:10 am

Ohhhhhh had a discussion about this just a moment ago on IM.....I am to attend a wedding in Oct between an old school buddy and one of my old playmates.....problem is I am the person who introduced them

but no one knows how I know him

so I am going to be the guest at the wedding invited due to my being the catalyst of this relationship......yet I cannot mention how I was the catalyst

OMFG! how do I get myself into these messes!

we do try to keep the two seperate although as you can see it doesn't always work that way....


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
6/6/2005 2:04 pm


Thankyou nights,an interesting answer and quite right too,but in the world of rotten politics which i do adore and if i spoke better greek i would get more involved in,who knows if joe PUblic would like it or not,

I'm a

i'm here to stay

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
6/6/2005 2:30 pm

Thank you for sharing. Interesting indeed...

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
6/7/2005 7:54 am

This was well answered nights. My respect for you increases with each post.

GleesFlakyShawl 50M
1620 posts
6/7/2005 1:47 pm

a very interesting point
i tend to agree with ur opinion about the behaviour standards required for public figures (in western societies, at least)
now, whats ur opinion about the french press handling the whole issue of the late Francois Mitterand?

nightstogether 56M

6/9/2005 10:53 am

dz2502: The Mitterand affair is a little before I started really being interested in European politics; but I remember that he died alone and was almost deified as a result, and then the whole shebang with his family and corruption hit the press. Always wait until they're dead, then they can't fight back.

private-intellectual (.de)

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