The long awaited post HA!  

nightstalker172 36M
1646 posts
8/31/2006 5:34 am

Last Read:
9/7/2006 10:15 am

The long awaited post HA!

A while back someone asked me to put links to all the past posts about is the list and perhaps now you see why I havent posted it before...took me along time to back track these Anyway from top to bottom they are in order by date...they have all been inspired by HER in one form or another. Whether it be really crappy peotry or just plain and simple venting....and I didnt realize there was so god damn if anyone would like to read them all be my guest heres the checklist...Note: the really nasty ones that I wrote about HER I deleted. it also had prompted a fight on my blog about it and I noted a post about that...

The Gentle Rage
Festering Wounds
Sublime Reckoning
I can see you but you cant see me
Younger and Naive
Duality of Love/Hate
Frayed Ends of Sanity
Duel of the Fates
The Pain of Love and Hate.
Devoured Soul
Its been awhile.....
to ponder love

OK...... - (this post was about a couple posts about HER that I deleted)
The truth shall set you free or condem you
My Instincts
Passion or Rage
Good or Evil
All I can say is WTF
In my mind where sanity is on vacation

Hippink 35F
4499 posts
8/31/2006 7:28 pm

Sheesh... in some cases, a lot of it was like what I went through with Square. *HUGS* I wrote an awful lot of posts about him, too. DRIVE ME NUTS!!!
Hippie XXX

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
9/1/2006 3:54 am long did it take you to find all of those???

nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
9/1/2006 5:03 am

hippie - yea...isnt it grand to be insane

Curious - it took me about a 1 1/2 hours to find them all...reading old posts to make sure it wasnt about her at all...I left out the ones that mearly mention her these are the one that are about her so...yea...I had nothing better to yesterday anyway

8321 posts
9/2/2006 8:58 pm

You should not have deleted those posts, dear nightstalker.

It's your blog.

Don't ever let people make you feel a stranger in your own blog.

I'm still shocked you let a few ignorant females bully you like that.

Something must change.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

velvetgrrrl 39F

9/2/2006 9:19 pm

Wow, that was a lot of reading to go through but now the last one in which I had started reading your posts helps me see a bit clearly through your love/hate induced fog

Might I say it's nice to see I'm not the only pathetic person out there that allows love to dictate my life more than I should. Right! I did say pathetic and its not nice. But have you ever stopped and looked at how these actions and reactions might look to someone else?

I've been doing quite a bit of that recently and I must admit I must be retarded. I'm going through it now. I just posted something so very similar in my own blog about someone I'm in love with and have been for the last year. But I don't deserve to continually torture and depress myself over something that just sin't going to be! I would love for it to happen. In my heart I know if just given the chance I could be everything he's ever wanted or needed but reality has dealt its cruel hand of fate. It's just not going to progress to where I want it to! I'm his best friend and sometimes that makes it hurt more! Probably for similar reasons you had to endure. He's still looking for that one to make him happy and yet resigned that there is no one there for him! And he knows how I feel!

Maybe I have a bit more going for me! We're intimate, we date...have been for the last year but I will never be more to him than I am now. I constantly question is it my physical appearance? Am I too much of a goth chick? I thought about changing and decided against it. Ishould be liked for who I am not who someone thinks may be their ideal! I have a lot of empathy for you! More than I think I can express! But only you are going to know when its right to move on!

And sometimes its better to maintain a friendship than have nothing at all!

Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.

NickRules999 39M
9462 posts
9/2/2006 10:57 pm

If you've read my posts about Sherrie, I think we've got almost the same thing going on. I don't think I've posted about Sherrie in a while. I haven't dreamed about her. She did message me, almost a year after our big blow up. It was the first, and only conversation thus far. I think I'm doing my best to put her behind me, though I'm having trouble doing that. I am trying to move on, and I hope you can do the same.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?

nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
9/3/2006 9:29 pm

Div - compound things I was kind of pissed off and didnt think...I regret takeing those posts down..but at the same time I was tired of everyone argueing with everyone I though takeing away the source of the argument was the best idea at the is a pity...

Velvett - Yes it is pathetic...I look back and read some of my old posts and think how pathetic I can really be...and love makes us pathetic....yet...we all desire and need it on some level or I guess that makes us all pitiful as humans...

Nick - I keep sayin we need to start a club

spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
9/4/2006 4:41 pm

Night- You always have great insight about relationships. You helped me out alot when I was posting about my troubles. It's kinda strange--but I personally think that I have learned more about myself and relationships in general from the bad ones rather than the good ones. I guess they need more thought and effort to deal with than the good ones. Or maybe painful lessons are learned the best. I don't know, but I think you have gained alot from everything you have gone thru with her.

I would say that you are a better man for it, but that sounds kinda sappy. BTW- I'm so glad that your cat came home safely. Now there's something to go crazy about- missing cats!

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

velvetgrrrl 39F

9/5/2006 7:01 pm

I hope you didn't just take the pathetic comment to heart! I do sadly understand where you're coming from. I suck at being a human too! I'd settle for monkey status

Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.

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