Socailly Permitable  

nightstalker172 36M
1646 posts
8/17/2006 5:58 pm

Last Read:
8/26/2006 3:25 pm

Socailly Permitable

Im going to a part tomorrow at my cousin's house. He is haveing his annual BBQ with people coming from out of state to visit. It is a potluck so everyone brings something. Which is awesome because at a potluck like this you get to try a diversity of foods and drinks that you may have never had before.

So my "offering" to this bash is the same thing every year mainly by request. Rum Balls...I make some mean Rum Balls a reciepe that I learned from my chirstain mother I typically use Barcardi 151....because you have to have strong rum in order for them to be good. Its just not right unless they are strong...each ball is about a shot and a half...and yes you can get drunk off your ass if you dont pay attention to how many you're eating. (not that I would know personaly or anything )

But anyway...This whole deal got me thinking. About Drinking Socailly. I remember one time my cousin (whos his throwing this party) and my other cousin who is not much of a drinker. He is a light weight to boot. I remember one night the 3 of us and some other friends all went for drunken bowling...and yes...drunken bowling is so much more fun. On the ride home the 3 of us got to talking. My cousin (cousin 1) asked my other cousin (cousin 2)...why he didnt drink... He replied with He just didnt want to. Now to me if a man doesnt want to drink leave it at that. There is no reason anyone should have to drink if its just not fun to them. So cousin 1 was like well you could at least have a beer or something when you are with your buds. So you can loosen up and have fun with us. Now the 3 of us have known eachother for most of our lives Me and Cousin 2 are the same age and cousin 1 is 5-6 years older. I would think that cousin 1 would kind of know why cousin 2 wasnt much into drinking but he demanded an explanation anyway.

In short Cousin 2 simply did not want to be like his father. Who was drunk and high most of his wakeing life. And when what brought my uncle to quit drinking was death. He died on the table in the hospital after a car accident..BUT he was recussitated and has been clean and dry ever sence. Cousin 2 didnt want to be like that.

So if you go out with someone you order the drink of your choice and your date orders a water or any non-alcoholic beverage.

Does it make you feel akward?

What goes through your mind?

Do you ask about it?

Do you feel guilty drinking when they are not?

Does it make you feel like you're too dependant on alcohol if you are the only one drinking?

What about on your profile. A socail drinker could mean the same thing as heavy just depends on how socail you are to begin with. Or perhaps you put light/socail drinker because you are in denial about how much you really drink. And putting heavy drinker just seems negetive...Just seems stupid to me...either you drink or you dont...I dont think there is really any inbetween.

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
8/18/2006 6:07 am

Yeah, I agree with you on the profile thing. Just as saying you drink daily elsewhere can mean a glass of wine every night with dinner.

I'm not much of a drinker. I have to be in the mood for it, or I honestly can't get past the taste. So, it doesn't bother me at all if I'm out with someone and I order a Diet Coke and they order alcohol. Yet when I do drink, it's a crap shoot. I can get wasted fast, or I can drink others under the table and still be standing. I've been trying to figure out how that deal works for years.

BTW, I want that rum ball recipe.

Hippink 35F
4499 posts
8/18/2006 11:15 am

Bowling is NO fun unless you're drunk!
As for social drinking on the profile... I suppose they could change it to how often you drink... never/once a week/every day/ only on special occaions... but, really, things like that could be more clarified when you get to know each other.

Does it make you feel akward?
I do feel a bit awkward...if I knew he was a non-drinker, I wouldn't drink. But if I didn't know, or he just wasn't drinking that night, I do feel awkward. I'm sure to make the next drink non-alcoholic.

What goes through your mind?
I don't think it's odd not to drink... sometimes, you just don't feel like it. I don't give it much thought, unless they NEVER drink.

Do you ask about it?
if they never drink, I might inquire why, but ONLY after I've know them well enough to ask such a potentially personal question. Like, I asked Square why he doesn't drink. He just wants to always be in control of himself, never saw the attraction in getting drunk.
Man, would I LOVE to get him drunk.

Do you feel guilty drinking when they are not?
Yes, I do. Unless it's in a situation like the one you described. In that case, the non-drinker KNOWS there's going to be drunk people around. It's up to them to deal with it. Usually, being sober around a bunch of drunks gives you the upper hand and you can laugh at them all.

Does it make you feel like you're too dependant on alcohol if you are the only one drinking?
Ugh. You won't catch me being the only one drinking! NO WAY!
Hippie XXX

Hippink 35F
4499 posts
8/18/2006 11:17 am

Oh ya... I want the recipe, too. Never tried them!
Hippie XXX

velvetgrrrl 39F

8/18/2006 12:26 pm

I am the non drinker in my group of friends and I get asked about it constantly. Do I want to go into the reasoning as to why I don't drink? Not really. It's very personal and traumatic and results with my first experience with death. Do I ever drink? Sure. But the reason I go out is to enjoy myself and I feel that having a drink doesn't necessarily loosen me up but inhibits me from being able to enjoy myself thoroughly. Then I have to think about things like sober enough to drive home, am I going to trip and fall, am I not going to be able to tell the asshole who sees I'm drunk to fuck off?
I have had friends who ask if I mind that they drink and it never bothers me. We're out to enjoy ourselves and I just don't use alcohol as that aid. It doesn't hurt that I'm such a lightweight it can make me a cheap date

Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.

NickRules999 39M
9462 posts
8/18/2006 12:56 pm

I'm mostly a social drinker, however, I DO NOT drink if I'm driving. Maybe something light. Maybe a Mike's Hard Lemonade. One, and that's it. Now, if I got a ride to and from the place, then I'll drink till I'm laughing at everything. I'm just wiser about when to drink. That's all.

Come into my realm! You aren't afraid...are you?

dasher121 36M

8/19/2006 3:56 pm

Does it make you feel akward? not really

What goes through your mind?
Well, this will be an interesting evening for her!

Do you ask about it?
that would be a negative

Do you feel guilty drinking when they are not?
Not really, but I wont guzzle them down then. Just have a few.

Does it make you feel like you're too dependant on alcohol if you are the only one drinking?
I honestly cant answer that one, everyone I know drinks. Im never the only person with a drink. But still, that would be strange once I realized hahaha


8321 posts
8/24/2006 2:11 pm

I never get caught up in that, nighstalker.

I'll have a glass of wine or two if I'm out at dinner or something of that nature, but that's the extent of it.

I don't care whether others are drinking or not.

If I need to unwind when I'm out I'll have a drink.

At home I don't drink, as it really is counterproductive to my lifting.

There's a huge difference between casual and heavy, when it comes to drinking.

It's not a black or white issue.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

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