Sins of the past  

nightstalker172 36M
1646 posts
2/10/2006 3:28 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Sins of the past

I sit here pondering what to type not much going on in my life at the moment but a bunch of garbage . Im sitting at my computer with some tunes going and my cat on my lap digging her wonderful claws into my arm ever so loveingly.

Anyway I got to thinking aboutn past relationships. I realize that the longest one Ive ever had has only been a year and only two of them where ever that long most tend to be under the 6 month mark but over 3 months. Sure Ive had friendships with the opposite sex that have lasted longer(I would give an example but Id rather not) but never an actaul relationship. Each time its been the woman doing the breaking up not me. Either I did something stupid or they simply just left. I have never actauly been the one to break up. I guess maybe they simply beat me to the punch that one time I was ready to call it quits but she beat me to it. but the others. I had a girl leave me because I couldnt play football anymore. I had to quit after my first session in highschool...family issues that even to this day are still unresolved. I had one girl leave me because she was going to college out of state and she thought it was best. and another girl just simple up and leave with not a word. and the one got mad at me because of what her friend did telling her that I was bragging about haveing sex with her. I never brag never have. Sex to me isnt a contest and its sad some people view it as such.

Now I will admit I havent had a steady g/f since highschool and my definition of steady is more than 3 months going out. The last girl I dated was about OH lets see. a year ago almost. I was never really serious about her anyway she was more or less my therapy girl from when .......ANYWAYS...I had a few nights fun with her and that was it...We both kinda got tired of eachother...she annoyed the shit out of me and I think I did the same to her..not sure though didnt care to ask. as far as her therapy...didnt really work that well.

Now I never have a problem flirting with women never have problems getting phone numbers or at least asking for them dont always get a return and actaully most of the time you dont. But meeting a girl that I actaully like physically and as a person...I get tongue tied I even get those knots in the stomach and only 2 women in the world have done that to me apone meeting them but onyl 1 of them actaully became a g/f and an ex g/f too the other...well.......anyway. Has anyone else had that kind of experience? You meet someone and for some unknown reason you get that weird feeling...Now mind you its not every beautiful woman that has that effect on me but certain ones do....why? Anyone have an answer for that?....and dont tell me its gas damnit is it just a product of my insanity? Is it like a love at first sight type thing?...Never really believed in love at first sight. but the other women I was no less physically attracted to them...so what makes those two different?...sigh...being single is so much simplar...why would anyone NOT want to be single just invite the occasional female (or male whatever the case may be) and have some lovin and then go on being single....no drama...no bullshit who cheated on who or whatever just good clean adult fun and then go on with life....but even then people have what seems to be "the life"...do we get lonley wanting to find that one person who gets us?....despite any sexual companionship with the opposite sex it seems empty to me...its like...going to get a massage...you go there let the person rub and relaxe you then you leave...nothing else...stress releif...

I dont know I think Im just crazy today...I become a crazy man when Im tired, bored and cant sleep...got done watching Lord of War for the first time...was kind of a dull movie...some truth to it though in the end...but I dont want to spoil it...but its just how the govenment works. And I finished Legacy of Kain Blood Omen 2...was kind of easy...but I love the story to it...Kain is by far my favorite video game character...anyway here I go off the subject.....what was the subject again...oh yea relatioships...So how long does a relatioship have to last in order for it to be considered a real relationship?....I think I go sleepy sleep now...at least I can kinda sleep in.... yea right..


pinkplaytoyz 49F

2/10/2006 6:10 pm

Yes, I've had that weird experience where everything seems to freeze, and anything you might possibly utter sounds incredibly stupid!

I would say a relationship begins when the two of you start considering eachother as a part of your lives.


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