Sex and Religion  

nightstalker172 36M
1646 posts
10/8/2005 5:27 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Sex and Religion

I have never been that much into any religiion. I believe in god but Im not one to go to church.
I believe in simply being as good to other people as possible and not liveing to anyones exspectations but my own. I have never read the bible but I have been preached to enough about it. My family are hardcore born again christains, but ironically none of them can say they "waited" until mariage to have sex.

In my own personal opinion I think its bad to wait until you are married to have sex with someone. Heres why

1. I think alot of people will RUSH into marraige just to have sex. But then they end up miserable (not always I know) and cant get out of a marriage because their religion forbids it.

2. Know someone completly before you get married. That includes their sexaul appetites and such. Before I choose a life long mate I want to know every aspect of her including her sexaul desires and fetishs. If you dont it will lead to number 1.

Now dont get me wrong there are obivsous minues to NOT waiting..such as children. In which case you may be forced to marry for the sake of the children. I think if you take multiple steps to prevent pregnancy you should be ok. Im not saying its full proof. But combineing a condom with a diaphram is a good idea or the bill etc.

Now hehe funny story before my parents where married my mom had 3 miscarages before she had me...they decided to get married while she was pregnant with me...but I would have 3 older brothers who would all be bastards lol...and yet my mother to this day has the nerve to preach to me about waiting till marriage...I find that most hypocritical.

bigfurrybear 41M

10/8/2005 7:25 am

I gave up on god long ago. I was born and raised mormon and the rest of my family is still. Without going into a long tirade about the reasons behind my beliefs, I basically feel that if god is there he has never been there for me. I still live a good life. I am still a good person. I am just un-encumbered by any worries about going to heaven or hell.

This is why I consider myself Athiest. To quote one of my favorite Slayer songs:

"I reject all the biblical views of the truth,
dismiss them as the folklore if that time"

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
10/8/2005 9:05 am

um... She preaches no sex until marriage because she doesn't want you gettting married simply because you knocked someone up? She wasn't born again when she was having sex out of wedlock? Have you asked her?

nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
10/8/2005 9:55 am

to missann: no she was recently born again....about oh 5 6 years ago...she was religous when I was little but then she stopped...and now shes born again every sunday they go for a 45 minute to an hour drive just to get to mom was actaully a wild party woman in her teens and early 20s. She would put me to shame lets just say that LOL....and my dad he was kinda straight and narrow most of his life...but well lets just say he had a bad childhood and eventaully became a biker when he got away from home as he puts it course he doesnt ride anymore which is a shame but what can you do. As far as talking to my mother about anything its kinda hard because shes stubbern. and NO I havent knocked someone up but shes affraid I might. I have always been EXTREMELY careful with that aspect. I know that It could still happen but then again I also dont sleep with just anyone. Its not all she preaches she comes at me for EVERYTHING...from the music I listen to, the movies I watch or like, the video games I play etc...She always tries to get me to come to church and I have once (but I was kinda forced into it long story)
I have met all her friends and pasters that they go to church with...they have even tried to set me up with people from there...which I hate being setup period by anyone. I also avoid the bible studies that she tries to get me to go to.

The fact is mom and I cant see eye to eye simply because shes religous and Im a "live free" kinda guy. I have my own rules that I live by and will not be judged by anyone but me. She doesnt seem to except that. She wants to SAVE dont get me wrong I do believe in god Im a spiritual person. but I think religion is a man made thing like a government and is just as curruptable as any government. but I wont get into that....needless to say I jsut simply cant understand it...

goddessofbitches 41M/33F

10/8/2005 11:05 am

I don't see anything wrong with waiting until marriage...that is if BOTH the man and woman wait. If they have never had sex before...they aren't going to have sex desires and fantisies until much later on. I can safely say that I never once had the urge to be tied up or sleep with another woman until 2 yrs after I lost my virginity. Even then my husband was the one to mention it. I didn't come up with it on my own.

Besides...there has been proven that most everyone who looses their virginity to someone always remembers them and there are me....still love the person who was their first.

No...I didn't wait...but IMO...there is nothing wrong with the decision to wait.


Always The Bitch

nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
10/8/2005 11:25 am

to GOB: thats a different story if both are virgins and want to wait. Thats good for them. and you're right about the virginty part...I still remember mine and I even still kinda miss her...She was a virgin too...but IMO I dont think its good if neither are virgins...if one all of a suddent wants to wait thats his/her choice. But Ive never thought it a good idea...being patient and wait is one thing...but waiting until marriage I dont think is a good idea IF both arent virgins simply because like you said they have exsperienced it and know what they like and want...if you wait you might end up dissappointed....but thats just me...I would never pressure a woman to do what she doesnt want to but I would tell her how I feel about it...what she decides to do after that is up to her.

spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
10/8/2005 2:13 pm

Both my parents went to Catholic schools, and my mother even went to a Catholic university. Taught by nuns her whole life. Nuns as in CELIBATE, you know.
Funny story with a happy ending: My Mom got pregnant with my sister before she graduated, so my parents got married. ( I will always wonder what the nuns thought about that. Jeez! ) Then my Mom didn't think she could get pregnant while breast-feeding, so I came along just ten short months later. WOW! Dad celebrated my birth with a vasectomy. LOL
I guess the moral of the story is that my parents didn't know anything about the consequences of sex due to their upbringing, and they are both very intelligent and highly educated. They also never told me ANYTHING about sex. No Father-Son talks. No Birds-and-Bees. NOTHING.
I thought they would read me the riot act when I started dating, but all I got was worried looks and them distancing themselves from anything having to do with my social life at the time. WEIRD.
So I guess that religion is good for alot of things, but sex aint one of them.
Also I know an uncomfortably large number of very religious ladies in no-sex marriages. There was no exploration before the marriage, so they didn't know what was in store for them. Now they feel trapped, and many are on antidepressants for how they feel about their marriages and their lives. One of them has 4 seperate prescriptions. Some of them even give me their phone numbers when their husbands are out of town. I just look at them and ask, "Are you really sure about this?", and give them their numbers back. We laugh about it and are great friends, but here they come with their number again. I'm not bragging. I'm just someone they feel comfortable talking to about these things.
I don't know why they do. I do know that I would feel doubly guilty if I was ever tempted because of their marriage and their beliefs.
Enjoy the testdrives nightstalker!
You don't seem like the kind to trade-in every few years for a newer model.

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

bardicman 50M

10/8/2005 9:50 pm

I would never discount anyone for their desire to wait until marriage to have sex. The biggest problem I see is that now days this waiting seems to be more of a token pledge than real abstinence. More and more people are turning to oral sex and mutual masturbation as ways to please each other without "having sex". Hmmmmmmm, it's the Bill Clinton Legacy of Oral Sex is not really sex.
Sex is a part of the overall relationship but I do not think sex is a leading factor in divorces. I think other problems arise causing the sex to come to a halt and then it is a general collaboration of all things that causes the marriage to erode.

I am not dead yet

nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
10/9/2005 6:24 am

someone on here once said...and I cant remember thier name but they said
when sex is good its only 10% of the relationship when sex is bad its 90% of the relationship

My personal opinion is when sex is bad or nonexsistant it cuases other areas of the relatioship to be hurt as well...think about it...hove you ever had a really long drout of sex..dont you feel frustrated and cranky most of the time? Sex is one of the main reasons us men and women even get together...its not the only reason of course but its a big one...of course where sex ranks on your list of importance is different from person to person..but thats JMO

rm_deadlyboring 47F
20 posts
10/9/2005 10:07 am

Marriage is more then sex...Really...It's rough three way battle between two souls, and the world...Money, family, careers and boredom all play havoc on marriage. Its tough, and takes alot of work. Respect for a person and yourself is far more important than sex. You can fuck someone you hate, but its hard to have respect with hate.

One thing that can be benificial about waiting before marriage, is that there is (or can be) an open line of communication. When you're horny and can't preform, talking is your only option. It also marks your relationship as unique, apart from this world.

That being said, I always try on trousers before I buy them. I get to know alot about a man's control issues, phobias and selflishness in the bedroom.

My belief is that when marriage is done right, you learn alot about God's love...If you can manage to crawl into bed with a man who washed your favorite dress (It said dry clean only) with his muddy hiking shorts - you've preformed your own version God's grace. When my husband was very ill, sex consisted only of me naked laying next to him, feeling his warm body. That act was as special as any orgasim I could receive. It wasn't about was about a relationship God had blessed me with.

spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
10/10/2005 8:48 pm

Are you sure they didn't say:
When the relationship is good, sex is only 10% of the relationship;
when the relationship is bad it's 90%.
Because that's all they really think they can get from one another, have in common and can share??
I have experienced it from both angles.
Not saying you're wrong, just putting my own spin on it.

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
10/11/2005 9:40 am

spin:....I think you are right and I miss quoted LOL....but either way...Sex is more important to people than they realize. Some people can live without it...others ultimute dream is that when I die...I die haveing sex LOL....I cannot think of a better way to go...

Deadly: Well said...when you love someone and your happy with them..thats great..course if the love of my life is Ill the last thing in my mind would be sex it would be their health...that alittle bit different...But I think haveing a bad sex life or no sex life will cause problems in the relationship...granted the reverse applies too bad relationship but good sex...but eventually they will both end up bad reguardless because you arent getting everything you want from a mate...and then you end up unhappy....but often people who choose to wait until marriage dont really know what they are getting themselves into. Thus the relationship eventually falls apart because of the sex aspect of it wasnt what they exspected. They are not leading a fulfilling life like they wanted to. JMO

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