Platonic Friendships part 2  

nightstalker172 36M
1646 posts
11/2/2005 4:38 pm

Last Read:
6/21/2006 4:45 pm

Platonic Friendships part 2

I have felt the need to prehaps refrase what I said in the first post because I have the feeling that some have misunderstood me. When you have two people and one is attracted to the other but the other is not and wish to remain platonic friends. How can that person expect the other to settle for just part of that person and watch someone else get the part that you are missing. Its even worse if that person doesnt deserve that part.

Have I had a Platonic friendship with a female. Yes but ONLY when neither of us are attracted to the other. If one of them was to develope an attraction for me OR I was to for them. the friendship would eventaully fall apart. I have stopped being friends with some who either were attracted to me I was not to them or vice versa. The end reault however is always the same.

It is impossible to remain a spectator watching someone else get to be with the object of your affections. Those who do are kidding themselves and I have been guilty of that as well. You try to stay friends with that person in the hopes to change their mind. Does that work well...there is a small chance...but you might have a better chance at winning the lotto...

Now as for my case. Women think that its possible to remain just friends. If a man is attracted to you than no. Somehow they cant seem to understand why we dont want to be "just friends".

What is it that men want from women? I hear the booming sound of all the women saying SEX!. Well I hate to break it to you ladies but the desire for sex isnt a "man" thing. Its a "human" thing. It doesnt matter what gender you are. The need for sex and affection is there in both genders. However I cant speak for all men but I will speak for me. What I want from a woman

1. Confidence in me and support
2. Sex and affection
3. Loyalty

Those are the 3 basic things I would want from a mate. Now speaking strictly about sex for a minute. What really sickens me about it is that women get away with useing sex as a weapon and people applaud them for it. They will also use the promise of sex to get what they want from men. Money, emotional support as I said in previous posts. Another thing that upsets me about women is their routine of "playing dumb". Honestly If a man says to your face that hes not interested in you then hes not. But if he never says that and he hangs around you and such. He likes you. Unless hes gay or taken. He wants to have sex with you(some cases even if hes taken). Women can pick that up a mile away and thats how they effectively manipulate men to get what they want from him. When he finds out and doesnt let it continue they will play dumb and act like they had NO IDEA that you liked them. They thought you were just a friend and thus they try to get you to remain friends with them. Why? Other than to boost your own self esteem and to have someone to use for whatever later on down the line. Why do you assume that we would settle for being just friends? We want all of you or none of you. Its an all or nothing situation. I dont understand why its so hard to comprehend that.

Im not saying you females are all bad. Im mainly thinking if just a few that Ive had the pleasure of knowing.

rdy2try4 51F  
3035 posts
11/3/2005 6:58 am

Ah my dear are still trying to make things black and white when there are shades of grey all around. Even you did list SEX in your 3 things you want after saying no we don't want sex silly. But you do, as you said we ALL do eventually and with someone...just not EVERYONE!! I can admire a person and like them and NOT be sexually excited by them...same with some men in regards to women. However....even the manipulate again say 'women' do it...and 'men' do it also. It is NOT an inherent 'women only' or 'men only' world my dear. Men CAN and DO use for money also. I have a friend whose with a guy living with her. He has NO job, does NOTHING in the house, and expects to be taken care of and screwed....same thing you are accusing the women of. I am sorry you got hurt. But holding the entire female population or even 1/2 of them responsible for doing ludicrous. "I" need NO money from a man. I do not date on money or status. Many women do not. I do not even let them pay for my date. I will not be 'owing' a man so that he (possibly) may come back and say I owe him sex for it. And that DOES happen!! I just know that not all men are like that. There are predators out there in both sexes dear. And truthfully...I DO have a long time love that I know and have seen him with MANY girlfriends since me. It does NOT bother me in the slightest. Why? because he is happy and that is what counts to me. I never pined away for him. Yes I hurt at the start of the break up, but it ends honey. I didn't dwell on it. I moved on. We are fabulous friends now!! I have a few that I 'wish' I could have gone out with. But I don't sit and stare at them when we are out wishing and dreaming...I am JUST friends and know that. "I" will never be more to them. And I prefer to have the 'friendship' rather than a nothing. It is all in your perception dear.

nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
11/4/2005 6:34 am

please dont tell me I have to make another post.....ok listen....I dont hold a grudge against ALL women....but I do against the ones that have mistreated me. and you're right 1/2 or all is ludicrous...Id say about 3/4 of women are like that believe it or not...I wont say men are that much better either...BUT I bet 3/4 of the emails you get from men are ones that are from assholes right who just want to bone you...when a woman has a good man right in front of her and she decides to cast him aside for the asshole...and then when shes been treated badly who does she run to..who does she USE to feel better. I dont expect all women to want to have sex with me and I dont want to have sex with all women either...thats not what I was saying...when a women KNOWS that a man cares about her of course he wants to be closer...ALOT of women willUSE that to their advantage. So they can still have that "shoulder" to fall back on. you say women dont do that I see it every day....You rdy are a minority amoung your kind. I wont sit there and say that men dont use either they do...but for me when I have feelings towards someone friend or not I would eventaully like to have sex with them....yes thats true....but being a friend to a women you really like is only being able to have a part of her when you want the whole...what use is a half?...being a friend is only half..what is the point in being closer to someone and getting more attached to them only to be given half?...I bet that if a guy who only wanted to be "friends" with you all of a sudden changed his mind I bet you would care wouldnt you?

Seeing things in gray...see gray is a tease...its not quite black but its not quite white which is it...come is cut and dry black and white WHY?....because a woman will either want to have sex with someone or they wont....but they use the "gray" area to dangle the carrot so to speak to keep men wanting them so they can USE them. Im not saying that women will just jump into bed with someone or that they should but they take the time to know a person and then they will put him in the place they see him fitting best. And thats either a shoulder to cry on, wallet full of cash to have fun with, or a penis to ride....and when they find one sinlge man to do all three they have no need for the rest. What about the other guys who got fooled into thinking that the woman actaully liked them...that is the purpose of the "gray" area. There is no absolutes when dealing with people as a whole but there is when dealing with one person...its a either you do or you dont kind of deal there is no maybe...unsure perhaps but maybe is just a way to string someone along...give them the hope...but when men realize what the women the like are doing they leave because its a waste of time...I dont go out with a girl for several months just to get half of her Im sorry....I dont put all my focus into someone just for a dont get me wrong...when I take a girl out and I pay I dont expect anything in return...It would be nice if she was willing sure but for the most part I see her home and then leave...if she invites me in I exspect sex not at all...but after awhile unless she has given a good reason...she should want to have sex eventaully other wise shes just stringing me along and she was never attracted to me to begin with..or she was but decided that I was fun enough to keep around...WTF is that?

The gray area is a bunch of hooplah....things are black and white...when dealing with one person...Im gonna stop typing now because I wont stop if I go on

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