Passion or Rage  

nightstalker172 36M
1646 posts
3/30/2006 6:42 pm

Last Read:
8/31/2006 5:16 am

Passion or Rage

OK just a fair warning and I think Ill do this from now on...Im going to write about HER again so dont read if you are tired of hearing it.

When I saw her last week it was utter shock...I was not exspecting it and I was caught in limbo so to speak. On the one hand I really missed seeing her and I admit she looked good as always..(damnit) but another part of me just wants to open a can of whup ass on her. You know what I mean? Which brings me to this.

Dont get me wrong. I can and have been the meanest S.O.B. sometimes but for some strange reason I just cant bring it out when shes around...Its like I cage myself but at the same time I want out. Its frustrating to say the least. After seeing her that night I couldnt sit still. I couldnt eat anything the rest of the night and I paced back and forth like a caged tiger. Eventually I went for a walk...I had that knot in my stomache...and physical excertion is the only cure for me.

Has anyone else had a simlar problem? Emotionaly I admit I bottle ALOT..I get it out in other ways...such as weight lifting...but Im confused to whether its passion I feel or just pent up rage that takes ALOT of effort to hold back. But if let out Im affraid of what might happen...I might say something stupid or rash and that will end up makeing things worse I think.

The Definition of Love in the dictionary:
Love is a strong liking for someone. It's a strong passionate affection for another person.

The definition of Rage in the dictionary:
1 : violent and uncontrolled anger
2 : violent action (as of wind or sea)
3 :
an intense feeling : PASSION
4 : a fad pursued with intense enthusiasm

Soo..yea that doesnt help does it...

The definition of INSANITY:
relatively permanent disorder of the mind

Hmm...yes thats it shes driveing me nuts ...

Theres that old saying "If you love someone let them go, If they come back then it was ment to be"

She keeps poping up...I dont seek her out...Is it just an accident...or is fate or god trying to tell me something?...Ironic that she handed me a bible HA! ...thats kind of creepy when you think about it.... that little detail just donned on me ....yep...Im insane...

IMMORTALLY INSANE!!!..sorry I was singing along

popmuse01 35F

3/30/2006 8:41 pm

MM...this is a toughie as it could be one or the other, or BOTH or neither.

I honestly don't think you are are just bottling up what you WANT to tell her to her face how badly she screwed you over as a friend (forgive the odd way this is going...I can't seem to get the order of it right )

The restlessness could be your reaction to yourself for not telling her how horrible she is to her face (there we go! lol ), therefore your subconcious is making you restless and not eat and need to work out the frustration you feel at bottling yourself up like that. phsycology class in high school is finally paying off (joking!) I can't say I know what you are going through, but I get a similar feeling when I see my first ex-boyfriend (especially at work), he gives me such a dirty look I desperately want to ask him what the fuck I did to get that look lol.

I'm leaving the site end of March. To those who want to keep in touch, see blog for details.

themisskrissy 56F
2302 posts
3/31/2006 3:43 pm

i beleive the correct verse goes:

if you love something set it free
if it comes back it is yours
if it doesn't return
hunt it down and kill it...

insane? nah....... some days it does suck to be human tho..


Virtue Alone Ennobles

bardicman 50M

3/31/2006 4:36 pm

I have to agree with MissKrissy on this one

I am not dead yet

nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
3/31/2006 4:36 pm

popmuse - I think you would be hard pressed to find one single sane person in this I guess insanity is normal

Lovespell - Yes I mentioned it twice in the last post about her...It was her moms bible her mom forgot it and her mother hadnt shown up yet...Now before you get all religious on me...I will say this...I do believe in god though I have never read the bible entirely...I have always believed that religion in itself is evil because it has brought nothing but pain and suffering when two religions collide on beliefs. I simply believe that god wants everyone to be as good a person as possible and treat others kindly and understands that it is hard sometimes...Personaly I think most religions use god as an excuse to have power over the people...that to me is wrong...That is useing his name in vane I think...or to sate ones lust for power and dominance over others....Catholics did it for centuries far as this whole handing me a bible thing...It does seem odd but I dont think it really means anything other than her mom forgot her bible...but if you have a different theory feel free to share it.

misshrissy - I like that Im going to have to use that one

nightstalker172 36M
1258 posts
3/31/2006 4:39 pm

Lovespell - STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!! Sorry I completely forgot the link

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
4/3/2006 10:28 am

I'm with popmuse on the restlessness thingie, I told someone how horrible I think she is and am now at peace about the end of what I thought was our friendship (it wasn't one, really, but that happens).

Damn, it feels good to be free!

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

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