Why is it I couldn't have met a woman who enjoyed the same things that I do?  

nightfoxI 36M
4 posts
5/12/2005 1:04 am

Last Read:
11/9/2006 9:16 am

Why is it I couldn't have met a woman who enjoyed the same things that I do?

Greetings all!

This first post will be a place to vent my sexual frustration, and then, we'll go from there.

A little about myself - I was a virgin when I met my soon-to-be wife. I admit, that perhaps I should have been more agressive in terms of seeking out pleasure, but that can't be helped now. When I first met her, she seemed to be very into sex. I enjoyed it very much. Now, I wasn't a stranger to a woman's body, but I had never had sex. Things began to fall apart when it came to sex when I expressed to her certain things that I wanted to try.

For example, I have always dreamed about giving anal. I don't know why, but it is something that I strive for, something that I crave. I think it might be the fact that it is a taboo, a forbidden pleasure, if you will. Another was oral. She would not deny me giving it, but when I asked to recieve it she would not. I don't think that it is right to recieve but never give.

I am frustrated. Because my wife is older than me, by eight years, it can be understandable that she has had a few sexual parteners in her time. She has told me what she used to do and how many times. When I ask her to do the same things, she denies me. In fact, the only position she will allow is the missionary, me on top, she on bottom. That's fine for a few, but I need variety! I wish sometimes that she was on top, or that we would do it doggy style or anything. The problem with the missionary position is that I can't really feel much. She is a bigger woman and this position doesn't allow for a proper, tight "seal" that allows for the optimum pleasure for both parties.

The frequency of having sex has actually gotten worse. The last time was on December 31, 2004. Over five months! I can't even remember the last time that I actually came. Oh, she does every time, but if I ask her to continue afterwards so that I might do so, she acts as if I was the worst person in the world.

I just need variety in my life! Any suggestions or "help" would be very appreciated!

rm_snmgirl 40F
13 posts
5/12/2005 5:11 am

dude you really need to move on. Granted I understand that you love her and all but hey you have needs as well. to give a little info, my last b/f was married to a heavier lady. and she would never give oral nor get on top or give in anyway but missionary. I feel your plight. When he meet me and slept together for the first time I was bored out of my mind. He wasn't sure how to do things.. So I let him try whatever he wanted.. then WOW... it was great. we spent 2 years together and now that he has learned I have set him free to ruin women for other men.. lol... trained well hehee.. don't give up.. make it known that you want more and need more. there are two things that can happen. 1 she can tell you to get lost.. 2 tell you to get someone else... I hope the best for you and tell her to take the stick out of her but... then she might loosen up..

Lapkin4u 42F

5/12/2005 5:31 am

Wow sounds to me like you need to seek out some pleasures elsewhere if she is not willing to fulfill your desires.....maybe you should think twice about marring her. If it is like this already its only going to get worse as time goes on. She should want to make sure you are pleasured as well....it could be the only way she is able to cum is in the missionary position....but she should use others to get her going and continue after for your satisfaction. That really sucks! I hope you can work it out with her......sometimes you just have to move on. Good Luck to you!

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
5/12/2005 5:31 am

i'm probably not the best to advice as i'm a returned to be a virgin again from my sex fre marriagemy solution to my problem was having affairs,maybe not correct but its good enough for me,i'm working on my marriage so who knows on that one.
To me your wife is being unreasonable and bloody lazy as we wives can be at times,leave off the anal for now,its not for all and needs to be done with two very willing partners.
Will she talk about why she doesn't do other things,maybe her size makes her embarressed to be on top or on her knees,or try going to some sort of therpy to talk to a stranger and hope she opens up,difficult but if you love her and she still loves you try anything and everything,good luck

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