So anyway..  

nietchze 43M
195 posts
8/23/2005 4:15 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

So anyway..

So I'm at work one day and this weird chick comes in. She mumbles something like 'blaj blah blah lights something or other'. When I simply ask 'excuse me what?' she starts talking real slooow and loud as if it's the volume of her voice that's the problem.

Now I can read and write English, I was taught at a very young age. What I wasn't taught is how to speak in this stupid jersey accent you all have. How is it my fault you people can't even pronunciation your own language? I'm sorry but they don't teach ' jersey slang' and 'ebonics' till English 104.

So she starts grunting and pointing wildly at the cigarette case. She must have been going through withdrawal cause I'm sure she was a heroin addict. She had this bandage on her hand to cover up where she shoots up. Like any one falls for the bandage thing anymore, even I KNOW that. And she must of had some VD because she kept itching her crotch too. GROSS!

But anyway's I move my hand over the case until she finally grunts real loudly, of course over the brand of cigarettes we're obviously out of. I mean you could see the little plastic piece that looks like the top of the box. I don't know, maybe she wanted the little plastic

When I ask what other brand she would like she starts getting all angry and starts using really weird insults, again in that ridiculous accent.

"Epiphany...Cajole...Flagellate...Catheter...blah blah blah"

I know I have an accent too, but at least I don't verbally abuse people who have trouble understanding me. At least I can speak my native language correctly. At least I can see 6 feet and see when something isn't there. AT LEAST I'M NOT A JUNKIE WITH A CASE OF CROTCH ITCH!! So she finally just bought a different pack of cigarettes, like there's a big difference between them anyway, and takes her ice cream and leaves. Undoubtedly to go shoot up. lol.

These are my customers....

justsayhi2005 51F

8/23/2005 6:44 pm

omg you are such a nut!

pseudohippie 49F

8/23/2005 7:21 pm

I do NOT have a Jersey accent!

People: read MY blog entry of 8/22 or 23 (I forget which), entitled, "Work Related III" so you can see the REAL story!

haha, you meanie!

AtomicKisss 58M

8/23/2005 7:46 pm

Geez, I think you are stressed out to the max... maybe you should shoot a little bit of heroin to take the edge off!!! just kidding of course...

Sweetest_Sin_Jes 36F

8/23/2005 9:07 pm

Ugh, I can't get past the itchy crotch!


nietchze 43M

8/23/2005 10:58 pm

to all people reading...this is a joke. never happened...go read pseudohippie blog about her experience buying cigarettes lol

justsayhi2005 51F

8/24/2005 8:50 am

niet! duh! we know that!!!

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
8/24/2005 11:34 am

Son, how dare you insinuate your step-aunt's siamese twin has crotch rot! And WTF is a NJ accent, young man? Are you talking those awful Hudson County accents, or the equally dreadful rural redneck accents? Most of us speak what broadcasting schools call accentless English. Just because you're an adult, it doesn't mean your cybermother can't take her across her knee, young man and give you a sound thrashing!

pseudohippie 49F

8/25/2005 5:49 am

MissAnn, as I grew up right around the corner from you, I am completely familiar with my own accentless English.

And my crotch doesn't itch! lol The catheter is gone! lol (omg) And andanadand...the bandaid on my hand is now the SMALL kind! (so what if I'm a cigarette's sactioned by the gov't!)

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