Born Blond  

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12/13/2005 8:14 am
Born Blond

Ever have a day that nothing seems to go right? Can seem to hold onto anything, one mishap after another. Stub your toe getting out of bed in the morning, can't seem to get anything to work? Well maybe you should try turning it on first.

That is the kind of day I have...........well pretty much everyday. There are a rare handful of us who where born true blonds. I happen to be one of them.

Have been a clumsy person all my life, yet seem to have avoided any broken bones, stitches, (with the exception of elective surg) have avoided that as well. Never been in a major car accident (knock on wood). Yet I still seem to be able to fumble my way around this world.
For example yesterday, started out like a normal average day, woken up from a peaceful sleep with the pounce of a kid or two on the bed. Wipe the sleep out of my eye only to poke my finger into it. Once I was able to see clearly again, slide out of bed to walk to the bathroom only to cut the bottom of my foot on a hotwheel my son neglected to pick up the night before. Took a min or so to get the bleeding to stop. Then onto the bathroom for my morning ritual.
I am of course a female so the bladder has to be emptied or I can't do anything else, sat down took care of business before I realized there was no toilet tissue. Drats! Oh drip dry it is, besides I will just shower it off in a min anyhow. Stood at the sink to brush my teeth and noticed one of my beautiful children had used my tooth brush in some type of experiment I can only assume this since it tasted like wind-ex/comet. Blahhh! Back to the toilet to .
Ok now to shower, well if I only had a dry towel, damn it I just washed towels yesterday. Oh well, I will have to make due. So after a quick shower, ok not so quick maybe. If anyone knows me well, my showers are my time to please myself and start the day off right Shower was uneventful and pretty much the rest of the day...........until, my drive to work. On my way to work I normally stop at the same convince store to gas up the car, buy a drink or lottery ticket and yes of course flirt with the handsome clerk who is always there at that time. Well I pull up and 3 of the 4 pumps are occupied and of course the one that isn't is behind this one where a pickup with a trailer on it full of hay, and it is taking up well more than his pump space is, that is all I will say.

I pull in behind him, get out and the gas nozzle doesn't reach my tank, well I look and see that I have at least a good 5 ft I can pull up a bit, so I get back into the car, turn on the key and e..a..s..e up, OPPS! Wouldn't ya know it my foot slips off the brake, and I almost slam into the trailer. What else can I do but laugh, luckily the man with the trailer thought it was funny too, or was he just looking at my chest? Hummmm anyway, my car is close enough to the pump now, so I reach for the nozzle, but it doesn't fit, I am thinking to myself "Well hell what is wrong with this damn thing?" when I noticed I grabbed the diesel pump and not the regular unleaded. So I fumble around get the right pump and pump my gas. Drop my gas cap under the car, have to crawl on the pavement to get it, put in on the gas tank. Go into pay for my gas when I suddenly notice I left my wallet in the car, go back out get my wallet and pay for my gas. I am sure the clerk that I go out of my way to flirt with is thinking to himself by now, "What a stupid bitch" Anyway the rest of the night went without incident.

Just wanted to share that little bit of humor. I got a good laugh at myself anyway hope you did too.

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