UNWORTHY  

need2havfun76 40M
60 posts
1/25/2006 7:10 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

UNWORTHY


Ok, problem.

I can't come up with anything.

No story.

No wants.

No suggestion.

I feel unworthy.

Oh wait, UNWORTHY, I suddenly have something to blog.

I've been reading other blogs and let me tell you, I have no where near the problems others are living through or have lived through. The attention starved little child in me is somewhat rebelious at this. I'm not going to get all the attention that I want. Do I even want all the attention that I get? Phylosophy for another time I suppose.

I thought I was a good person. I found out a couple of months ago, I'm not. After reading some blogs I realize how much I want to be a good person. What this means, is what I'm trying to figure out. Everybody has a code they live by. Not everybody's code lives up to someone else's. But I broke mine. And no I don't mean recently. Recently was a different code and a different break. An intentional break that I don't regret. Sometimes your code changes. Sometimes you have to change it back. Or change it to something better. Don't know. I'll figure it out.

Now that I admit this feeling of unworthiness, I realize that it doesn't matter.
I'll still post blogs.
I'll still read blogs.
I'll still post comments,
whether Im qualified to give my advice or not.

I hope you forgive me my presumptions.

need2havfun76 40M

1/25/2006 9:16 pm

thank you huny.

now...for everyone else: notice, huny says I'm worthy. Hmm..yes, it does make me feel better. It doesn't change anything, it doesn't change my life nor other things, but...she for some reason she chooses to have faith in me. I say faith because I haven't had the opportunity to chat with huny and give her my deepest darkest secrets (that's if I have any). So she chooses on faith to decide that I'm worthy.

So thank you mzhunyhole for having faith in me. Maybe I'll live up to it. I hope.


need2havfun76 40M

1/25/2006 9:33 pm

OK OK,

enough melodrama

all she said was you're worthy, get overself already. hehe


need2havfun76 40M

1/26/2006 2:40 pm

ht0hrny0bbw: Awww, now that's nice. It's not fair just because you know me, to let others know that I have value or merit, that's a secret...LOL


rm_VoodooGuru1 49M
2053 posts
1/26/2006 10:34 pm

Write a childhood story if you got nothin' else. Where'd you grow up? What traditions did the boys have at the age of 12 to prove that they were tough?

Ever get hurt? Broken arm or leg? What's the story behind that?


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
1/27/2006 5:15 am

I think part of life is to constantly struggle towards becoming the person you want to be, its one of the things that keeps us going. Believe me, I dont feel worthy most of the time, its ok.


need2havfun76 40M

1/27/2006 3:38 pm

Voodoo: thanks for the suggestions I'll take them, use them, and make them my own. Just the ones you mentioned bring back soo many memories like this group of kids calling themselves the dead end gang, or when I broke my wrist...well hell, I suppose I should put them in a blog, shouldn't I? hehe

ht0hrny0bbw: maybe a litte huh? lol

saint: you're right. sometimes I feel like I'm in a rut, I fall back into a thought partern and I forget that I can still change, and struggle forward as you say. Sometimes it's ok, to feel unworthy. I didn't realize that until you said it, but I understand. Thank you for your thoughts.


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