Nothing to say, to feel.  

need2havfun76 40M
60 posts
12/14/2005 5:48 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Nothing to say, to feel.

Don't know why I'm posting.
I have nothing to say.

Life is getting sadder the closer I get to the holidays.

I wonder what that means.

I wonder what I'll do, how I'll feel, if I'll feel.

Everyday I get a little more numb. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I'm not inclined to do such things again. They always made it more difficult for me to feel anything. So what's the reason now?

Why is it so hard to care?

I put on a mask in front of my co-workers, in front of my friends, in front of my family. It shows them that I'm happy. That I want them to be happy. It wasn't always a mask.

I want to meet someone that I don't need a mask for. Maybe someone that can make my feeling not such a mask anymore.

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