I wonder how this happened.  

nectarshunnypot 34F
14 posts
9/15/2005 8:08 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

I wonder how this happened.

I definitly never thought I would be here at this point in my life. I certainly never imagined being married and wanting someone else. Of course everyone thinks that their marriage will be a happy one forever, but that isn't always the case. I'm not trying to justify this, just explain a bit. I was really young when I got married, 17 years old. Of course I believed that is what I wanted at the time. But as most often happens in life, I changed. Things that I once never questioned now seem off to me. I'm not going to lie and say that I have a horrible home life, because I don't. But there is definitly something lacking, obviously, or I wouldn't be here. I have discussed these needs with my husband, but I get nowhere. He's older than me by six years, so he had his time to do his thing before we got married, while he has been my only real relationship ever. There were other guys, but no actual relationship. So now I am at this point in my life, where I don't really know what to do. I am a wife now, a mother as well, but so often we tend to forget that we are women too. We have wants, needs, and fears. Perhaps that is why some people stray in a marriage. Not necessarily because they want out of it, but because they want to feel alive again. I know I personally miss the way that a man looks at me when he just wants me. To see that appreciation in his eyes as he longs to touch me would be so wonderful.

nectarshunnypot 34F
10 posts
9/19/2005 6:59 am

I didn't really have all of the fun that most people have. Probably has a lot to do with how I feel huh? I got married when I was 17, so now when most people my age are just out having fun, I'm dealing with a family. It's all good though, have to look at what I wouldn't have if things had been different. On the plus side, I'm much more mature than people my age. Thanks again!

MagnumTA 47M/37F
4 posts
10/21/2005 9:45 pm

Damn, I sure wish I was closer to you! Then you, me and wetpantyslut2 could all hook up and enjoy the passions of sex the way a woman deserves to be pleased, teased, tasted and appreciated! ~Jake

rm_etex4u2 51M

10/27/2005 6:10 pm

I understand my wife is 10 years older and going thru the change of life has lost her desires, but mine are still there and quite strong, and I need the touch of a woman ,the feel of a woman , and the wild desires.

sensualtouches3 45M

1/28/2006 11:38 pm

There are things that many people lose sight of:

1) We all change as we get older. It's called 'growing up'. Even from 40's to 50's, we change. Sure, it gets a lot slower as we get older, but things DO change. Mentally, emotionally, and especially physically.

2) Relationships are WORK. Good ones, ones that succeed. ANY kind of relationship, whether it be marriage or friendship.

3) It takes two to tango. Seems obvious on the surface, but tie that together with my above two statements....

In other words, we change as we age, and a good marriage takes work. as several have posted in here kind of alluding to, a good marriage included a good and healthy sexual relationship with your spouse. If your spouse starts to feel neglected, they WILL start to wonder and almost always start looking elsewhere.

Now, we are all responsible for this, but of course, the ultimate responsibility lies with the person 'at fault'. They have to see the problem, recognize it, and accept it. Then THAT person has to come to a conscious decision to DO something about it.

Talk to your spouse. Detail your concerns. Discuss options, things to do. Sometimes, you may be the one partially at fault, and never realize it.

I remember an interview - I believe I saw it on TV. An older lady was discussing her sex life rather bluntly - her doctor was giving her an exam and then asked quite out of the blue "how is your sex life". Her immediate response was "None of your damn business!", but then started to think about it. After some discussion and research, she found that their current 'once every two months' just wasn't good enough. So, she and her husband discussed it, and then started to make changes. Here's some of the ones I remember.

1) PLAN for it. Set aside a day and time. Put it in your calendar. Yup. you heard me right - schedule your sex.

2) Flirt. Takes work at first, if you're not accustomed to doing it with your spouse for some time. But, it does get easier.

3) Flowers, notes, love letters.

4) Express interest in your partner. Compliment him/her. Rediscover the attraction you have for them. NEITHER of you are as young as you used to be (if married for a while). But, age doesn't have to be all bad. LOOK for the good things.

What she discovered was that they BOTH got into it! And their sex life is now up to a couple times a week, or more. They are in LOVE again - as much or more so than when they first met. They flirt like teenagers (her statement, but...), and it turns them both on, and it is much easier to reciprocate. They feel healthier, happier, more successful, and much more in love.

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