bites you back  

ncfantasyseeker 46F
74 posts
8/13/2006 1:20 am bites you back

I have less emotional baggage than most. I deal and cope and generally move on pretty well.

Or so I think...

Then I date a lovely man...things are moving along smoothly and I do something really stupid like check up to see if something he told me was a lie...

Now I am dealing with the realization that my playing the fool for a cheating spouse has left it's mark on my personality.

No longer do I trust, simply because I believe..I needed proof to know the trust is well placed.

I do not like this. I do not want to play the fool again..but I do not like being suspicious and untrusting either. Especially since he did not deserve it.

Now I have to find a way to cope and deal and perhaps find a middle ground that does not make me regret my actions. But does not leave me feeling the fool.

I planned to go into this new phase of my life by taking big bites of everything I had missed. bit me back

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