Top 40 Things Not To Say During Sex.....  

nbtnt 58F
67 posts
10/15/2005 7:46 pm

Last Read:
6/1/2013 8:16 pm

Top 40 Things Not To Say During Sex.....

But everybody looks funny naked!

You woke me up for that?

Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

But whipped cream makes me break out.

Person 1: This is your first time... right? Person 2: Yeah... today.

Hurry up! This room rents by the hour!

Do you accept Visa?

So that's why they call you Mr. Flash!

On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...

Got any penicillin?

I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

I want a baby!

So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!

When is this supposed to feel good?

Did I remember to take my pill?

That leak better be from the waterbed!

I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!

No, really... I do this part better myself!

You're almost as good as my ex!

Perhaps you're just out of practice.

You sweat more than a galloping stallion!

Now I know why he/she dumped you...

You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.

What tampon?

Have you ever considered liposuction?

And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!

I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!

Did I mention my transsexual operation?

I really hate women who actually think sex means

Did you come yet, dear?

How long do you plan to be ''almost there''?

A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!

Does this count as a date?

Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!

Hic! I need another beer for this please.

You can cook, too right? When would you like to meet my parents?

Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!

Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...

five_speed 41M

10/16/2005 4:34 pm

Is it in yet?
Hurry up! My TV show is about to start!
Never mind those warts.
I wasn't asleep! It was... uh... tantric meditation!
I haven't showered since we did this last week!
Please hold my colostomy bag.
I hope you were kidding about being alergic to spermicide.
You remind me so much of my mother.

HardlyYours4Now 52M

10/17/2005 2:32 am

My sister / daddy was never this good.

tigerdickaches 62M

10/21/2005 6:08 pm

Hurry up hon'! Only 3 more minutes before the nightly news!
Does the game start at 8 or 8:30 pm?
I'm sorry hon'! Just remembered I've got a tee-time in 5 minutes!
PK says to shave with a certain technique to remove the 'stubble'!
MzHunyHole recommends you suck my cock better than that dear!
Excuse me! Think I have email from SFW!

rm_lucytart 50F
590 posts
10/22/2005 10:05 pm

Sorry, you were saying?
I guess I really am gay...

rm_shyguy1353 63M
2 posts
10/24/2005 5:47 am

You're not as good as your sister!

rm_Funguy82000 69M

10/24/2005 10:14 am

Is that it.


CaseiTrashDroop 67M
27 posts
10/31/2005 5:45 am


mikrocam 40M

11/1/2005 7:59 am

very good and a little twisted
cheers for the chuckle

RockPebble 69M
2485 posts
11/18/2005 6:40 am

It looks just like a penis only smaller.
That's not the way _______ did it.
Are you sure you don't want to read the directions first?
And that turned on your ex?

ft1963 55M/53F

8/28/2006 12:50 am

are you one of the twins...Im sure I know you

RocketMan_Len 52M
2325 posts
10/14/2006 8:19 pm

Fifty Bucks First!
My doctor says that the infection is almost gone.
Does it ALWAYS look like that???

ottodave 55M
29 posts
5/29/2013 11:17 am

But would you fuck me for million-dollars. Now that I know what type of girl your Let's negotiate the price

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