Que Se Chingan Todos  

ThumbChickStool 33F
541 posts
3/19/2006 1:54 am

Last Read:
3/19/2006 1:54 am

Que Se Chingan Todos


I am so sick of being criticized by those who claim to be well-meaning. I am tired of having to defend my lifestyle to those who don't understand. And it makes me upset when those criticisms are about very personal things.

My mother and her friend were criticizing my husband and me earlier (yes, that is grammatically correct. Remove the 'my husband part' ). Last year, my husband made approximately $65,000. Actually, it was closer to $70,000. That is almost double what my mom and her friend made last year. When my mom told her friend that, her friend was flabbergasted. And she wanted to know what we have to show for that. Seeing how when he lost his job, we had to move back in with my mom and he only had a couple of bucks in his pocket, obviously we have nothing to show for it. But come on. Are "things" really that important? And my husband explained that we spent as much money eating out in a month as they do in mortgage payments, which is to say almost $2000 a month. We had the money, we could afford it. We went out pretty much whenever we wanted too. If I ever wanted something, I rarely had to ask more than once. Same with him. If he wanted something, he got it. But we were "wasteful" and "irresponsible".

Let's compare, shall we? They are "financially responsible". Their bills are paid on time, so where ours. They own big houses with lots of stuff. They have nice cars. They have bank accounts. And they aren't happy. My husband and I paid our bills. We had an apartment, but we didn't have a lot of stuff. We have a '97 Ford Escort, but it runs very well. We don't have a bank account. And I'm not considering divorce or sabotaging my relationship like they are. I liked my lifestyle, I was happy and content. I didn't have to work, he made more than enough money. So why would I want to be financially responsible like them, if they aren't happy?

And then came the criticisms on how we are raising our children. They are never dressed when we are home, unless I'm letting them go play in the backyard. My daughter, although potty trained, still likes to wear diapers. My son has a tendency to climb onto the kitchen counters to either get into something or watch whatever I'm doing. And I still haven't broken them out of the habit of writing on the walls. And they pick on me. Both my mother and her friend say that I'm not strict enough (I'm sorry, but I didn't like being spanked when I was little. Why would I want to be heavy-handed like my parents?). They say that I should teach my kids to always dress nice, and to always have their hair brushed, and to say "yes sir" and "yes ma'am". As far as I can see, they didn't do such a great job on their kids. My youngest sister and my mom's friend's daughter hates to brush her hair/teeth, take a shower, or dress nice. And none of us say "yes sir/ma'am" to anyone. But they say I should teach my kids that? And that because I'm not showing them any better that we will always be "poor white trash"? Fuck them. My mom's friend called me a bad mother because my son was climbing onto the kitchen counter to watch me wash dishes. Who the fuck is she to say that to me? And never mind that every time she comes over she says the house is a pig-sty even though she clearly sees I'm in the middle of cleaning it. My mother admitted that I've done a much better job keeping the house clean compared to the other times that we've lived with her.

No matter how fucking hard I try to help out, or how helpful I try to be, it's never enough. My mom is in bed all fucking day except when she feels like getting her shit together, but she fucking criticizes me when I'm sitting down. I'm pregnant, what's her excuse? She's on medical leave all the time. I honestly think she worked like only five months out of the year last year. The rest of the time was medical leave. She fucking bullies her doctors to get her out of work. But she has the fucking nerve to criticize me?

And never mind all the flak we're getting about the decision to move to New Hampshire. Everyone thinks it's a bad fucking idea, but no one has any suggestions for how to stay in Vegas. All we ever hear is "tell your husband to get off his fat ass and get a job". Like it's that fucking simple. Even if he gets a job, there's no telling how much it'll pay or how many hours he'll get. There's no telling where he would get a job. And even if we go for government help, there's no telling how much help we'll get, if we get any at all. Someone said for us to try Section 8. Going that route, for all we know, we'd end up in some ghetto ass area where I would be to scared to let the kids out to play and my husband would be at work worrying about someone breaking into the house while he wasn't there. It's already happened once.

But I'm sick of it. And I don't dare answer back when people do start criticizing. I'm not one to speak up or speak out. So how can I tell them to "Shut up and fuck off"?

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