nakednightswimme 40F
121 posts
10/4/2005 6:51 am

Last Read:
4/1/2007 8:48 pm


This morning I'm thinking about the different types of people, well to be specific - dominate, submissive, passive, switches, and people who just don't know what they are. I've considered myself a submissive switch for a long time, but my husband disagrees... I wonder if our definitions are just mixed up. I consider myself submissive because even though I am an extremely strong person, you could say I have a fairly assertive personalty, I enjoy giving up power to someone else. I love to surrender to a stronger force, yes it must be someone I choose, I don't just lay down for anyone but I truly enjoy being commanded. I don't really buy into the power struggle a lot of people talk about in the SM scene, I pretty much still think it's a 50% 50% split because even though the dom is dom they only get that because the sub chooses to be a sub. I think my husband has a different view of subs - more like those doormat like women who want someone to run their whole lives, I mean what would be the fun in dominating someone like that? What would the challenge be? People like that are just weak. I'm strong, to top me takes power and my respect. In this life there are a lot of different kinds of people, some people remind me of herbivores, some are natural predators, and some are a mix - kind of opportunist. I would be a predator, not a large bad ass one, one that knows it's place and has respect for those larger than it but definitely a predator, a hunter of hunters, there would have been a good chance I'd have been a warrior if I'd been born a couple hundred years ago and male, not the commander or a leader but an appreciated depended on veteran. Anyway just trying to straighten how I feel out so I can try and explain it to him. I know I'm submissive, just not the kind that most people think of, but I love collars and leashes, love being tied up, love being order around during sex, I get off on the idea of being "taken" or having no choice, the part I really like though is that I've given him that power, I've turned over control and the responsibility to him, he can protect me and take care of me for a little while, it's very relaxing and I have huge orgasms. I like the idea of belonging to someone, being owned makes me feel safe and secure. Plus even though I've really tried to get past it I think I still have some guilt left over from the christian upbringing I had... I became pagan over 10 years ago but the guilt is so ingrained I don't know if I'll ever totally get over it, when he takes control I don't feel any guilt which makes the sex even better. So what do you think? Do I fit your idea of a sub? Which kind of sub appeals to you more?

PS - I'm not a lifestyler, I just like subing in the bedroom. I'm always either a sub or just normal with guys and never never date submissive men, but with chicks I go any way depended on what she wants/needs and her level of experience.

tamethytension 54M
2320 posts
10/4/2005 12:16 pm

Your husband is confusing Dominant with Domineering. There is no place for domineering in a DOm/sub relationship. You are exactly right in the 50/50 nature of the relationship.

You may wish read an early posting of mine as regards my own views on the Dom/Sub. see ...

Falconer & The Falcon: Musings on DOM/SUB

Although, I definitely wish to expound further my philosophy as I continue to see this men who view submissives as objects of derision, to be scorned and otherwise an excuse for domineering attitudes which at their core are but telltale signs of weakness in their heart and souls.


masterG999 45M
1 post
10/17/2005 11:17 am

i would not like to dominate a woman that has no power. Doormats have mental health issues... a woman that willingly gives up her power and submits to my will... that what turns me on...


Become a member to create a blog