Frustration!  

nakedbeforeyou 55M
2 posts
7/6/2006 4:44 am

Last Read:
8/24/2006 7:07 am

Frustration!

Had a visitor last night. It was a lady I've known for four years now, I have wanted her every day of that. Well...maybe that is a little dramatic, I want her when I think of her. She is 34, she has an average build, maybe a little on the soft side but she has a youth and vitality to her that is noticable. She walks with me sometimes and as we wind our way into the woods and up a hill she walks without any noticeable discomfort where others stop to rest or proclaim"how much further">we are talking a half mile at best! i want to kiss her vagina, her innermost lips, and squeeze her clit and see what her eyes do. They smile and flash, but they don't look away so usually I do.
I told her flat out she drives me nuts and she wanted to know what I meant. I told her. I told her how for a year and a half I have been seeking a lover, here on this site, told her how dead in the water I been, basically limping from one blow off to another. Told her of a few meetings that 'almost ' clicked, told her how tough it has been, been looking for well over a year. Wrote a thousand letters or so it seems. now I'm writing to a young couple, there is almost a connection, they shoot artistic nudes as do I but not enough of a connection to create forward momentum. We IM'd and it was fun but what next? How do you go from a to b? I expressed my interest without begging and that is all I can do and since I am happilly married this all takes place in the realm of want not need.....There is urgency born of healthy desire but shit or get off the pot time never comes.
She asked me about my profile, man did I want to whip it out but I don't have internet at my workshop. I told her what it said and she replied "I don't fit your profile. " That is true enough, she doesn't want to pose for me though she is pretty enough. She doesn't dream of bondage games...as I do. I want to tie her spread and saw her in half with my wet tongue. She is single and wants a man of her own...she wants the 'seed' she said with a laugh. I got no seed. >gulp It is a day later and I'm fresh with my first cup of coffee, now it is so clear, why didn't I say "what if' it worked great, what if we both enjoyed it fully aware of the situation. Instead I just sad there with no answers. Want and desire don't need answers to exist. It was sounding a lot like a discussion we had four years ago. She joked "you are never going to get over this are ya".I don't know what I said but really what is there to get over? You feel you express, you breath and turn air into life. As long as your heart beats it feels.
She was wearing shorts, her toenails were all pretty and she was shower fresh, smelled like a flower, even her ass hole would smell like a rose I just know it. I wanted to put my arms around her and crush her to me, to feel her body, it's heat, feel it's weight.
So there we were, an hour and a half went by in a blink.
It was getting to be dinner time, I had to finish my carving, didn't really have time to lay around sating lust, two more grits to sand, she had her dogs to tend to. don't even know how we ended it. She is probably the one good friend like that I feel I can't even hug and that is sad to me. I know her and what I know of her I desire. I watched her leave, she said as she walked out what a nice time she had and as frusterated as I was I also had a good time, I was dreaming and scheming and after she left and I was alone with my carving, I tried to step back and look at the 'big' picture. Before long it was lost in a cloud of dust.


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