is it really christmas?  

mysticldesires 48F
35 posts
12/25/2005 2:01 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

is it really christmas?

Okay so this is christmas as a widow. Hmm interesting. In the past year i have learned how fearful other's are of death. As if it is contagious to be around a widow. There own fears seperate me from them. Old friends and family not sure what to do or say. Oh for gawds sake, i am freakin alive people and i want to live. But instead i sit in my room, the four walls that are taking their toll on me. i am ready to cut loose, laugh, share, do more than exsist.

i am the invisible widow. Lipstick, high heeled widow is what i prefer to be.

Rachael my best friend got engaged tonight, and thank gooodness because she was getting restless after three years of living together with no other commitment. and considering she is 34 and never had a child or a husband her time is due! Warm fuzzies for her!

So i sit here now in my room, alone, not even a present under the tree, wondering how the hell did it end up being christmas and i never even felt it.

oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
12/25/2005 3:32 am

I know the feeling when my wife passed away it was the same thing.

It's like I was the cause of my wifes death.

I never put up a tree this year and its been three years since my wife died.

I pray things get better for you. You take care.

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