Truth  

mysticdreamangel 60F
1119 posts
7/22/2006 4:40 pm

Last Read:
8/22/2006 4:46 pm

Truth


“Every mind must make its choice between truth and repose. It cannot have both.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

At this point in my life I need to face the truth and I’m tired of not facing it. I have, up until this point, been living my life as others think I should.

I have decided that tomorrow is a new day and I need too stop feeling sorry for myself. It is my own fault that I am feeling like I have been and I am going to take my life back! Will I hurt others by this decision…yes…but those that know me best will allow me to start this journey and to do it my way!

I need to get back the simple things in life…seeing the texture of a leaf, hearing the sound of a stranger’s voice, enjoying a simple smile from a loved one. I need to know that even though I’m 50…I can still be the inner child…I can laugh, I can play, I can be whatever I want to be!

Do I want to be serious about life…YES, but…do I want to debate issues…NO…do I care about politics…HELL NO…do I want to be what they think a 50 year old should be…OMG NO!

So, starting tomorrow, this woman is doing what comes naturally to her with no more pressure from those in her life other than her son! Yes, my son is the one that I live for! Whether people like it or not…it is the way it is. He knows that over the past years’ life has not been what I had hoped for. I have been though a divorce, losing my job of 28 years, a few tough relationships since the divorce, going to school, starting a new career, financial problems because of not working and going to school…all those things that one can say, “Poor me”. For him I need to get myself back!

Through this blog, I have been in contact with many wonderful people and have read some very inspirational writings. Perhaps this is what has made me realize that I can regain control of my life. For those of you that have written words that have touched my heart…Thank You…for those of you that have responded to my blog whether positive or negative…Thank You…for those of you that have supported me through this time…Thank You…but now is my time!

In the end do I want relaxation…tranquility…peacefulness…YES, but for now…the truth must be faced and I have to do what I have to do! I do it with two people in mind…my son and myself! He has said I am more than just his Mom, I’m his friend as well, and friends do not let friends down…especially when that friend is your Son!

So tomorrow, here I come, and may I be a better person for it!

chef953 63M

7/22/2006 6:01 pm

You sound strong and determined. Feels like you have reached a solid decision on moving forward -- the time of options is ending and it is just a matter of getting on with it. Good for you MDA!! You can do, and be, and enjoy, and share, and experience ALL you wish. I'm excited for you, and hope I can be as clear and direct in my own life and the choices I will be making.


mysticdreamangel replies on 7/22/2006 8:00 pm:
chef,

I have reached that decision and you can do it also! Just take one step forward...don't look back...I know you can do it! If I can...so can you! I'll be here to catch you if you fall...if you will be here to catch me if I fall.

Thinking of you...

MDA

kenlpn2 59M
31 posts
7/22/2006 6:40 pm

Thinking you`re going to do very, VERY well for yourself. Supportive? Unspoken, assume.


mysticdreamangel replies on 7/22/2006 8:01 pm:
Thank you...

runzwithknives 59F

7/22/2006 7:39 pm

Nice post.
I have, up until this point, been living my life as others think I should.
It's not selfish to take care of yourself and your son. Not selfish to make decicisons for the two of you based solely you your needs and wants. You go girl!! I gotta feeling that 50 is gonna be a blast. Hugs, Rosa


mysticdreamangel replies on 7/22/2006 8:04 pm:
Rosa,

Any comment I get means a lot, but coming from a female means more to me right now! I know I'm not alone in my feminine feelings and for that I thank you.

You know what...50 is going to be blast and nothing is going to stop me!

Hugs to you as well,

MDA

FrogsDefogMenta 63M  
84 posts
7/22/2006 8:06 pm

Transcending...Myst...,
Well, you have departed the "stageing area on a journey..a journey that is not a "stranger" to you nor a "new leaf", but a revitalization of your inner "spirit"..the spirit that has been on the "what others" stoves.. back burner..and now is time to savor and awaken ..you are..you truely are "One", the most important being,do not ever forget or question... for without that essence all the guidance, love, and devotion to your other "one" your son..would have been a facade and there is no such part of you, your nature, your being, that has ever been anything less than exemplory regardless of the conditions or situations...for you are here,your son(friend)is here, (I love it now..when my kids tell me I am a friend..WOW) and the future is yours(you always knew that)take it run with it, Look Forward..glance back..don't dwell.. you have a great deal to look forward to as a 50 year young and beautiful woman, mother, friend and lover..You go girl..we'll see you around the "block"..
Your friend from not afar..but whenever..forevermore..
I remain...
C


mysticdreamangel replies on 7/22/2006 8:23 pm:
C,

Your words, once again, make me realize how lucky I am to have found friends like you! And yes, you are right...I have departed the "stageing area on a journey" and I'm looking forward to it!

All my best to you my new friend...

MDA

mycin62 54F

7/23/2006 7:26 am

What a nice post. It's so great that you and your son are such good friends, you don't see often enough.


mysticdreamangel replies on 7/23/2006 11:05 am:
I am very lucky to have the relationship I do with my son. There is nothing we can't talk about and he makes it so easy to be his friend. I am blessed and I have to keep reminding myself I am. It so easy to slip back into negativity...but I'm going to try my damnest not to again...

MDA

HBowt2 58F

7/23/2006 11:49 am

came here after seeing you on shayeDK's blog....I like your thinking....you only go this way once...it's got to be your way...


mysticdreamangel replies on 7/23/2006 12:44 pm:
Thank you and you are right, we do only go this way once...and yes, it has to be our way!

warmgrey7 50M
422 posts
7/23/2006 5:36 pm

Hello MDA,
I saw my dreamlover bustybettyboop posted on your MILF post. You are a very interesting, stimulating woman. I mean that! You are going through a world of change during a point in life where the "average" person (as if...lol) is looking to become stable, comfy and, well, banal.
You are moving ahead with your life and prioritizing, but you seem to be doing it in a healthy, centered way. I am genuinely impressed with what I'm reading here. You inspire me with your words and I'm fussy about that sort of thing.
Please, if you would, drop me a line. You live nearby as well. I'd like to communicate with you and have a meaningful exchange of, well, whatever! The fact that you're a MILF is just icing on the cake! Take care, mystic...
warmgrey7


mysticdreamangel replies on 7/23/2006 6:22 pm:
Warmgrey,

Your kind words are very flattering and for that I thank you! Yes, I'm forging ahead at the young age of 50 (lol) and will continue to do so until I find what it is that I'm looking for! I do want stability and comfort but not at the expense of loosing who and what I am.

I recently wrote a letter to my Mom and Stepdad regarding these issues I what I have been feeling internally. You know what, for the first time in my life, I think I got through to them. Perhaps this week that would make a good post.

Now as far as me being a MILF...I heard them say it...but do I feel like that no......I'm just a woman that feels sexy on the inside so it must show on the outside!

Keep in touch...okay and thank you again,

MDA

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