Travel back to the point where i thought it was the end !  

JeersPilarSaver 35F
1726 posts
5/19/2006 6:07 am
Travel back to the point where i thought it was the end !


today i had lunch with my colleague. its just a regular day, sunny with nice wind around u. we're talking about ourself when suddenly
she ask...hey mystic,if ure ex wants u back, will u take him back?? i stunned for a second then said HELL,NO!!
hahahaah okay maybe its overreacted but i keep wondering why some people still ask me about him. even in our company (yeah we
worked same company but different branch), people still connected him with me if they dont know which one my ex is. damn!

ok, thats not the problem. but after my colleague mention about him, my mind was on him for a while. its like im travel back to the past
think about it. how we've met (we met in high school, can u believe it!) how he ask me date, or how to feel the changes in our relationship from the beginning till the end. the relationship is not perfect but its not bad, either. and i really take this time to think
over it again.

if we're not broke up, this year we'll celebrate our 10th anniversary..gosh!! what a waste of time right...i came out with nothing. part of me hate him so much,yes i still hate him for some
reasons, but another part of me sometimes missing him. 'miss' here means hows he doing, is he okay or not. sometimes...i miss the
comfortable feeling when we just doing nothing but just to stay at home.
last years, bfore i gave up everything (yes, i gave up, which is something i should done years bfore),i still trying to search pieces
of ourself in that relationship, but i cant find it anymore.

u know, the day when its all really over. he's in my house packing some of his stuff (yeah, its almost like we live together but we're
not)it really hurt seeing him packing. and when he wanted to ride his motorcycle, i hugged him so tight, i just cant let him go, let him out of my life...he just stood there hugged me too. cant stop my tears...we didnt say a thing...then i open a door for him...and when he rode his motorcycle go, i know that its the end of something that i build with all my heart and life.

i felt so lonely that day....but in some way im proud of myself cuz bfore this, i keep telling myself that i cant live without him. but now im fine. im perfectly fine although there's some part in my heart still have its hurt. but i just know i'll be fine.

so here i am...writing horny sex blog in AdultFriendFinder hahahaha....and it soooo much fun. i dont wanna look back, i just wanna nostalgic a while, cuz no matter how hard we try, our past will still there, right?? he was someone that ever been in my life for so long, so i think i'll keep remember him in some way with the good and the bad. BUT if u ask me will i take him back?? the answer will always NO. he's in my life for a reason (cuz if not for a reason then he'll stay!)so after that reason is fulfilled, both of us should move on...(on our own way!).

and it reminds me of one quote that i can never forget:
"u'll be surprised to know how far u can go from the point where u thought it was the end..."

so thats it, one of the hardest thing i should deal in my life....but im still here right??? sometimes i feel it just happen yesterday, but another time i will feel, wuahhhh time move sooo fast

wow...what a long afternoon today. i dunno why but my heart feel glad after i wrote about it....(im really sensitive lately!!)

cheers

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