Screw it!  

my_brkn_heart 55F
283 posts
1/7/2006 4:56 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Screw it!

Ok! Screw this pity party, screw him! Nobody wants to read my whiny crap! Right?
Time to move on and quit feeling sorry for myself!
Dammit, I am middle aged but still ok looking, still have a decent body and am completely confident in my ability to please a man! I am an awesome lover and should not keep wasting my time boo-hooing over him! His loss!
Let's see...5'5", 105lbs, size 3, 34B, blonde, brown eyes, tan, intelligent, sexy, outgoing and fun!
Screw him!

rm_luking4a5h4g 32M
40 posts
1/7/2006 6:24 pm

Screw him? If you're mad at him why screw him, screw me instead

easy_8 56M

1/7/2006 7:08 pm

Fuck yeah...screw are a doll!!

rm_jackie40503 69T
1323 posts
1/7/2006 7:14 pm

Ah but your whiny crap is right. If he treats you with that much disrespect, there is no love there. So by all means move on and find someone who will give you all the respect you deserve.


zipzoomfly 46M

1/7/2006 7:26 pm

I read both posts and it's NOT whiny.
I know that you'll do better-- if you wish.
Actually you'll find someone twice as good, twice as funny and
twice as good in the sack.

If I may boost your confidence a little, you're picture is of a beautiful woman. And your posts show you to be very caring.
That is very desirable in my book.

chubbyncchick 41F
16 posts
1/7/2006 7:33 pm

No hon.. not screw him, go screw someone else!

I've been there. Hang on, move on then forget him. You'll be much happier in the end.

Blueeyeddev65 51M
2 posts
1/7/2006 7:33 pm

You are still a very attractive woman. Good luck in mending your broken heart.

xix12345 35M
53 posts
1/7/2006 9:18 pm

lol Im reading your "whiney crap"

Your in the prime of your life and georgous, but I cant comment on your abilities in bed, that kind of thing needs conformation 1st lol

I will pass on screwing him though :s, doesnt sound like my type lol

Take care


rm_cheney181 53M
4 posts
1/7/2006 9:34 pm

Any time you wish to move for forward is a good thing, contacting a beau in the acres of life to find your G in the mail is always a com plicate thing. Riddles are the simple pleasures of life

rm_conseco54 62M

1/7/2006 9:47 pm

dear brkn... after you get over the emotional loss, there is no doubt in my mind that you will find yourself a very sought-after woman. where ever you go. why don't you throw yourself into your art? use the emotions and feelings tearing you apart, turn them into creative energy? that's what i do with my writing, my poetry. angst is a powerful force. some of your work will initially be cliche, but that will lead you down other avenues to explore. there's no shame to being down, feeling bad. it will pass. sometimes, people just grow apart, begin traveling different paths. i truly feel that we are born with numerous soul mates on this earth. we are supposed to meet different ones at different times. it's not always supposed to be for a lifetime. part of the lesson is probably learning to let go. and there is nothing wrong with remaining friends when it is all said and done. "and that's all i have to say about that."

rm_cheney181 53M
4 posts
1/7/2006 9:58 pm

If he is that crazy better you look for better
must be someone? a beau maybe, living on some acres, you could send some good mail too.

rm_indul_gent1 55M
89 posts
1/7/2006 10:09 pm

In time, you'll come to realize you've been given the freedom to find exactly what your heart desires. Something tells me you won't have to wait long.
You're not middle aged .... just gorgeous.

older_smarter 54M
2 posts
1/7/2006 10:18 pm

Hell yes your one smoking hottie and at the prime of your life... I feel sorry for his dumb ass. HOw could you loose somethat looks like you....

madison392 50M

1/8/2006 2:07 am

Hay reading your post and sounds that he didnt realy respect you for you even after all that time you spent together we all have our problems I truly believe that you are better off without him and you will overcome your feelings and become a stronger woman in the long run. Just keep looking forward and dont look back its not worth the wory to your heart you are a vary beautiful woman and you deserve better in your life for you will overcome.

With all my respect for you!

HughJarse2000 47M

1/8/2006 6:42 am


how did you work out he was screwing around on you ?

what do you think to the likelihood that you caught him out the first time ?

Terrible way to have all those years with someone come to an end.

Don't screw anything !!!!!!

Just cos he went so low doesn't mean there will be any pleasure in you doing the same. Take some time to ponder. Protect that broken heart.

Good luck

my_brkn_heart 55F
71 posts
1/8/2006 6:51 am

WOW! OMG! I am so touched by all of the support, I didn't think anyone would give my blog a second look...thank you so much...everybody.

You made me cry...but it was a happy little snivel...

Hugs & Kisses
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo all my new friends

AughtMusedSpill 48M

1/8/2006 7:37 am

You're looking good, and you can be picky. If you know you're better, then you can wait for someone to recognize it and know that person will respect you and appreciate all you have to give.

my_brkn_heart 55F
71 posts
1/8/2006 8:54 am

HughJarse2000...We weren't living together at the time and I work some pretty strange hours. I used to spend the weekends at his place and suddenly he seemed to start having other plans. "Going out with the guys" was one of the most frequent excuses.
One weekend he was nowhere to be found so I stopped by his place, he was there, just not answering. I woke him up and he let me in, acting as if nothing was going on. As I stepped into the house I noticed a pair of women's shoes by the door. When I questioned him about it he had some story about them belonging to a friend he had met at an AA meeting. Which was surprising, since I didn't even know he was going to AA...he wasn't.
Of course they were just friends, blah, blah, blah...I felt uncomfortable being there and knew he was lying to me. I left without saying anything.
I knew in the back of my mind, she was there, in our bed.
I had to leave or something most unpleasant would have taken place.
I eventually spent a little time at his place and asked to check my email from his sneaky as it sounds, I checked his...hey it was already opened, I may have clicked it by mistake.
I found an email from her saying something about, "have I told you how much I love you?" His reply..."why don't you show me." I cringed!
But I got her name from her email address, later that week I looked her name up and got her address.
I went to her house, his car was there, I knocked on the door and a kid answered...I asked if he was there and the kid held the door open and showed me where he was...sitting, cozied up next to her watching a movie!
The look on his face was priceless!
Then he had no choice but to come clean.

As for the other...I would like to think this was his only time being unfaithful, and right now, it is easier for me to keep thinking that! I can only deal with one thing at a time!

I am not going to jump into anything right away. I have been faithful to the same man for a very long time. I am very concerned for my health and safety as far as STD's and that type thing...almost for now I will abstain from any sexual involvement...well except for the occasional "Self Help"
I have time and need to focus on what I need to do for me.
Thanks for the response!
Take care!

my_brkn_heart 55F
71 posts
1/8/2006 5:27 pm

Thank you Corran for the advice, I have already beaten you to it! So far, so good! Of course some of those things do not show themselves for some time...I can only wait and see (crosses her fingers) and hope that I am healthy and clean.

He professes to always having safe sex, with his new partner, but come on, there are some sexual things that are impossible to do without risking passing bodily fluids! Not only that, I am to believe someone who is selfish enough to continue having intimate realations with both of us, without our knowledge.

I guess I was not a very good judge of character.

Thanks for the response!
Take care!

rm_Chip24472 51M

1/9/2006 12:48 pm

Hey Brkn,

Glad to see you've made it to the land of the living.

I'm not going to bore you with platitude as there has been anough already. If all that doesn't get your self-esteem up nothing will. What I will say is that journaling can be cathartic on a lot of levels, so even if you don't continue a blog I encourage you to keep writing anyway. You'll come away with a perspective you've never had.

Chin up my dear and remember: One day at a friggin' time!

HughJarse2000 47M

1/10/2006 1:03 am


Its going to be a difficult time for a while.

Lots of people find Blogging helpful at times like this . You can spill your beans to the world and it doesn't matter to anyone in the real world. Escapism is healthy, I think , when real life just sucks so much.

Strangely though you will find friends here in time . Friends that can actually help keep you sane.

Good luck. Feel free to keep us up to date

JFB66 62M
6 posts
1/11/2006 10:22 am

I guess he doesn't know what he has lost and you should move on the hell with it you need to look out for yourself and find new friends to chat with and hang in there...

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