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Just another day in paradise
Just another day in paradise
Did you ever have one of those days? They start out just like other days. The alarm goes off (sometimes), you get up, brush the ole pearly whites, get dressed. Ahh, but then, just when everything seems normal, the spaghetti hits the fan.
I was sitting here this morning, waiting for a fax. Right on schedule, the fax machine began receiving and printing. Just one problem, the ink jet cartridge was not jetting...the pages were blank. Okay, no big deal, just change the cartridge, right?
I grabbed the first of my two replacement cartridges, opened the little box and popped open the little foil bag inside. At that point, I discovered that the replacement cartridge was defective and leaking like the Titanic.
Okay, still no big deal, just needed to wash off the black ink that was now coating me to the elbows. I still had 40 minutes before I had my first appointment of the day.
After 10 minutes of vigorous scrubbing with an abrasive soap that also removed at least two layers of epidermis, my hands were finally clean. But all that warm water...well, you know how it is. I had to pee.
It's cool, I was in the bathroom anyway. So, I lifted the lid, whipped "it" out and let go with a mighty sigh of relief.
You ladies may not understand this, but sometimes...how can I put this? Sometimes, it just does not go where you aim it. I don't know why, but it's true. Sometimes, it will even go in two directions at once. Very strange thing, that.
So there I was, enjoying the splendid relief that can only come from a serious pee, when I feel this strange warm sensation on my leg. I was "splitting", with one stream going straight on my pant leg. Geez!! How embarrassing. Enough to really piss a person off (pun intended). So now I had to change pants like a 5-year old after an unsuccessful pee-pee dance.
Still about 20 minutes before that first appointment. Plenty of time. New pants (and socks, too -- yuck) and I was ready to face the world again.
"Might as well get some work done while I am waiting for that client," I thought.
I sat down at the ole 'puter and started typing away. My cat loves to come up and get in my lap when I type at the computer. I think she likes the attention. It's usually kind of pleasant and mellow to have a huge cat purring in my lap while I type. Unfortunately, our little 12 week old kitten picked this as the perfect opportunity to climb up to the back of the chair and pounce.
Ever have a cat fight in your lap? It is no fun, I am here to tell you. I mean, they tore up my sh*t pretty good there. Definitely needed to change pants again.
Oh, no! Only 5 minutes before my first appointment! I had to hurry. I wouldn't do to have a client see me looking like I just stepped out of ... well, out of a cat fight.
But I made it! Second change of pants with 1 minute to spare! Then the phone rang. It appeared that the client I scrambled to meet was having a bad morning and just had to cancel.
Oh, sure! Yeah, great! What the hell!
Screw it, I am going back to bed!!!
8/5/2005 6:06 pm
OMG! I know it's not polite to laugh at someone else's misfortune, but that literally seems like a page or 2 from a sitcom script! How funny! Please forgive my language, but I just have to say it - at least you got some pussy today! |
Hope your week-end is much better!
8/10/2005 7:37 pm
As long as you're laughing WITH me...lol|