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Attack of the Killer Bots!
Attack of the Killer Bots!
They're out there! Oh, you may think I'm crazy, paranoid, insane. But I know. I've seen them!
They travel the electronic highway. They attack when least expected. Their weapon is the deadliest known to man...the IM!
Some Poor Schmuck is sitting at his computer, doing whatever, when suddenly...They strike!
An IM window opens up. "Hi. Do you like to chat?"
"Hi," Poor Schmuck replies. "What's your name?"
"I have pictures," comes the immediate response.
"Cool." Poor Schmuck! He never sees it coming.
"They are on my web site. I have a cam, too. url(dot)cutelittlebotpics(dot)com."
PS clicks the link. A window opens with two semi-nude photos of a beautiful young woman. "I'm glad you came. I love to chat and show off on my web cam. You can chat with me for free, just click "Enter" and we can start right now!"
Even PS has figured it out by now, so he clicks the red "x" to close the window. Only it does not go away.
Another window opens, this time advertising facials and blowjobs on video. Red "x" again. Another window with barely 18 beauties doing it in chocolate. Red "x"-window-Red "x"-window- Red "x"-window-Red "x"-window. As fast as PS can click, the porn-filled windows appear.
Finally, it stops. PS types a message into the IM window: "What the hell was that?!"
"Did you join my free web site?"
"Give me your credit card information and I can sign you up. We can begin chatting in only a few minutes."
"I said, 'JOIN!'"
"Ha, ha, puny human. You cannot win. We are the bots! We will rule the Internet and you will be our slaves!"
PS has no choice if he wants to save himself! His trembling hands reach for the keyboard...Control,Alt,Delete Control,Alt, Delete.
Whew! That was too close. Rebooting will scare the bots away -- for awhile. But they will return. They always return. They are always out there, watching, waiting.
If you want to survive, PS, you will heed my advice. I have been battling the Killer Bots for a long time. Here are some life-saving tips:
When that IM window opens, type something incoherent, like "gu." (This is a great choice, because if it turns out to be a real person IM'ing you, you can always say your fingers left the home keys and you meant to type "hi".) Then watch for the reply. A real person will ask you what the hell "gu" means, but a bot will go merrily about spinning its evil web. If it's a bot, close the IM window and go back to your business.
Don't ever think that you are safe in a chat room. The bots go to chat rooms, too. (Devious bastards!)
If the bot sends a link, don't click it. I don't care if it's "url(dot)iwantyoutofuckmeagainstthewallwhileicumgoldmarbles(dot)com." Don't click the damn link!
Those three simple rules will keep you alive to fight another day, PS. Take it from me. I am not a bot (skip) I am not a bot (skip) I am not a .....