November 19, 2005  

monkey_bone27 29F
10 posts
11/18/2005 9:45 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

November 19, 2005

It seems as though every decision I make has a way of tracking me down and haunting me. I look back at what I have today, and what I could have had for myself and others a year ago and can only see all the mistakes that I have made. I wonder though, if that would be enough to keep me satisfied now. I always tell myself that I should have done this and should have done that, but I don't think that would fix anything.

I have come to realize that every moment I have encountered that seems like it is traumatizing at this very moment, may not be so bad later on. The only possible thing it can do if it does not turn me completely insane or dead, is make me stronger. I have found that no matter how many times I change my mind as to what I really want out of life, as long as I want something I will not fail.

I go to bed each night knowing that tomarrow is bound to be different, and displays new obstacles for me to climb. The only way I can get to sleep at night is knowing that there is hope that tomarrow brings what I am in search of. If not then, than the next day or maybe week will and it will finally be clear to me that I am here for somebody other than myself and I will not forever be alone.

However, I am also afraid that I will have the chance of a lifetime with somebody special then miss my flight and be stuck in the same spot in which I had begun. I wonder if I will ever be able to let go...


zoopc42 47M

11/18/2005 11:15 pm

Guess you kind of put me on the spot here. I was not actually thinking you would reply. Kind of a trend on this site.

I was curious as to why the date on the blog so I read it. I realize you are just talking and perhaps it needs no answer, but how about a counter point.

Have you stopped and looked at what today brought you instead of looking forward to tomorrow. If you always live for tomorrow, you never get to be happy because you never get there.

These are just my thoughts on it. I can relate to what you are saying but I try to live in the now anymore. Depressing wanting what you can't have now.

Hope what I said was not too deep, I get that way


zoopc42 47M

11/18/2005 11:15 pm

I was curious as to why the date on the blog so I read it. I realize you are just talking and perhaps it needs no answer, but how about a counter point.

Have you stopped and looked at what today brought you instead of looking forward to tomorrow. If you always live for tomorrow, you never get to be happy because you never get there.

These are just my thoughts on it. I can relate to what you are saying but I try to live in the now anymore. Depressing wanting what you can't have now.

Hope what I said was not too deep, I get that way


zoopc42 47M

11/18/2005 11:17 pm

you can delte that first one and this one, pasted the wrong header on there


PUssyLICKs12 39M
1 post
1/24/2006 2:57 pm

dont worry monkey, things have a way of working themselves out. if your always looking for things that could make everything better, or worrying about oppotunities that you might miss, you will only distance yourself from the hear and now. that is the only thing thaat really matters, to be alive in the moment. i am not advocating a life without discretion or consequence because both are real and necesary...just that you enjoy your time and experiences foe what they are


slickydick696 53M

2/22/2006 6:38 pm

I bet I could put a smile on your lips (and a wet spot in your panties).


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