~Now this is just too funny~  

MartsPudicInked 46F
1659 posts
2/15/2006 7:08 pm

Last Read:
12/18/2006 8:41 pm

~Now this is just too funny~

Q: How do men always manage to say exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time?
A: Umm... Instinct, natural timing, and lots of practice (not necessarily in that order).

Q: Why can't men cuddle more (i.e. lie down and hug)?
A: Please... How many hours do you think there are in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the heck (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men... Men hunters... Need go roam... Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest... On the other hand, sitting on our asses for hours on end is a whole other story.
Q: How can men sit on their asses all day without moving?
A: Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The figgidy types were all gobbled up by saber-toothed tigers and et cetera. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.

Q: What does it mean when men say, "I'm just not ready for a relationship right now" or "I don't want a girl friend?"
A: It means that we like you enough to sleep with you, but not enough so that we want to see you repeatedly

Q: How can men be so inconsiderate?
A: Frankly, I'm hurt that you can even say such a thing. Lets take sex for instance. If a man lasts more than five minutes with you, he's thinking of nothing but you. To a man, an orgasm is an orgasm, whether achieved after five minutes or an hour of intercourse. Remember that the next time you have sex. We do it all, and we do it for you
Q: Why can't men be more sensitive?
A: We are perfectly capable of being sensitive. We just have no desire to be. Some men actually tried that in the '80s, but the consensus is that it was a total failure. It turned out that women don't really want sensitive men. Women only want men not to freak out when women do something stupid like crashing their car or blowing out their best speakers. Otherwise, women want men that won't think twice before crushing that big hairy spider hiding underneath the toilet.


Q: Why do men always touch themselves, especially in public?
A: We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus
Why do men always say such stupid things?
A: We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our mate frustrated by a few simple (and well-chosen) words.
Q: Why do men act like they own the remote control?
A: What do you mean act? We do; possession is nine tenths of the law. Besides, it is an awesome responsibility not to be entrusted to just anyone. I believe the only fair way to decide who gets the remote control is to arm wrestle for it.


~M~


sona si latine loqueris



fantasylover_05 62M

2/16/2006 4:35 am

OUCH!! LOL

I do hope I am not quite like that!! LOL LOL


Curioushornygu2 51M
19 posts
2/16/2006 6:09 am

Painful, but with lots of truth in it!

Here's an interesting one, also with a grain of truth in it ... I wish I could remember the attribution!

"Men give love to women in order to recieve sex ... women give sex to men in order to recieve love"

-Jim


rm_bessamemucho 47M
229 posts
2/16/2006 3:27 pm

What are men worth without the women in their lives stating these facts. It is all together what seperates us (cavemen) from the finer species of the human kind (the beautiful female).
The question is, would you ever want to change such a man? and lose the glamour of the female gender?


ilovetowatch75 41M

2/18/2006 1:27 pm

You're right. It is rather funny. I did notice maybe one or two true things in there.....


BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

2/19/2006 7:15 pm

This gave me a nice belly laugh, thanks.


timo-timo 68M

12/17/2006 11:12 pm

this did occur at a time when armwrestling was risen to the fore!!

alas, we hear little of it lately!

but wish we did.

what was it we would win again....???....LOL

yer t


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