an executive decision  

milady_de_winter 43F
938 posts
8/8/2006 9:33 am

Last Read:
8/10/2006 1:27 am

an executive decision


i had dinner with Q just now....we had a heart to heart talk....about me...my life .... and how its going...my crazy life...all the endless sex...

i am getting fed up of all the men i meet here and in my life..i am a magnet for serial shaggers and men with some emotional problem or some substance addiction of sorts...and they all just want one thing = SEX..its so empty..so un real..sex is just sex...

and the last thing i want is to get embroiled in chatroom politics here on AdultFriendFinder...i have no desire to hurt anyone nor make trouble for anyone..its better to forgive and forget...

so please leave me out- i am out out out - i just want to live my life and be happy with it

i just need to heal myself from all the hurt and pain...the hurt caused by those men..by H, by RSD, by Mr. NYC, By RCA, by T....jeeez the list is endless...the one who hurt me the most was H...i loved him...

I have just met a nice man..the kind of man whom you would want to settle down with..now..he has issues of his own to handle..but i think i am not perfect myself..even if it remains a platonic friendship...at least my gift to him will be that of kindess..i will be a nice woman...he has been hurt badly by women...so perhaps i will be there as a friend who cares...in helping him to heal...maybe i will heal...

As such...i am going celibate w.e.f today...this instant..no more sex...just platonic male friends who enjoy my company...in respecting myself..i will be respected...

I guess i am kind to everyone else..but i seem to punish myself....and i punish myself by fucking...fucking someone...thats so sad....

sex and intimacy has lost its value....i have lost the true value of intimacy...sex has become a mechanical function...

Part of me wants Mr.P to love me so much...part of me wants him as my BF....yet another part says don't hurt yourself...he may not be the "one"..." No man is worth waiting for.."... " go on enjoy the sex"...

But its not about sex is it? ..it not about just fucking every man out of savage lust is it?

what am i truly looking for...this is a decision i have to make...now if any of my FBs understand...they will be platonic friends.if not then they have just rainbowed their true colours and i do not need scum like that in my life....in some senses my friendship is valuable...its better that ( celibacy & platonicism) than botching up a really great friendship...

I guess the next time i fuck someone- it will be for the right reason...

casual sex has had its day with me...i seek something deeper...and i have to stop seeking

stop looking...stop searching...stop stop stop...

i need to turn inward and sort myself out..and focus on the right path...

Enough

Ciao

gotnonameone 48M
25 posts
8/8/2006 10:10 am

hi,
what can i say? i'm sure many ppl will be sad and disappointed.
but good for you lah. sure hope ur blog will continue to be hot and interesting......

good luck


IviesBidesJuste 55M
3658 posts
8/8/2006 11:41 am

I'm actually proud of you. You should be more selective.

It's also another way to find out just who your true friends really are. You'll find out that real friends don't expect anything from you.

I'll keep in touch through the private channels. When I get to KL, I'll send an email or call to invite you and your guy to join the group for an evening out.


rm_Darriko 60M
20 posts
8/8/2006 10:43 pm

Definitely time to move in new directions I think. Good luck.


milady_de_winter 43F

8/8/2006 11:06 pm

to cummalot -" sutha Dei"

Its not him ok....i suggest you read my blog carefully....

My God!

Ciao Ciao


LeninRuntsBurrs 42F

8/9/2006 7:10 am

sometimes it is best to come to realise something on our own as opposed to people telling us what we need to know. whatever your decision, am with you all the way from this end of KL/PJ...lol.

take care girl. hugs.


IviesBidesJuste 55M
3658 posts
8/10/2006 12:11 am

    Quoting LeninRuntsBurrs:
    sometimes it is best to come to realise something on our own as opposed to people telling us what we need to know. whatever your decision, am with you all the way from this end of KL/PJ...lol.

    take care girl. hugs.
I think she's looking for words of advice QB, otherwise she wouldn't be posting.


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