|Blogs > milady_de_winter > Diary of a liberated woman|
a view in the mirror
a view in the mirror
i just took a look at myself in th mirror this morning and did not like the image i saw ...
i used to be warm,
i used to be charitable,
i used to be kind,
i used to be caring
I was once a sweet girl...but men..a string of false promises and shatered hopes have made me so evil!!!!!!
Oh my God is this me????
now i am a bitch- when it comes to men
now i am extremely demanding,
now i am calculative,
now i am skeptical,
now i am angry,
i despise men who use women for sex...
i despise men who have no respect for women...
i despise men who lie
i despise men who hurt your feelings
i just depise stupid annoying men!!!!!!
I have metamorphisized into a hungry man eater...sheesh...this is just NOT on!!!!!
i have used ...
i have been used....
i scream at men...
i put them down...
i love calling them stupid...
i get a real high when i put a man down...
i fuck them and walk....
but is this me?
does this make me a better person?
does this improve the quality of my life?
does it in any way enrich my soul???
does it make me happy inside?????
the thing about men is that they are so UPSET when they feel a woman has used them..be it for sex, for gratification, for material things...
but what about how a woman would feel...when she is used...for sex, for their pleasure, for her time, for her emotions.......
i understand why some women here charge for their time...i can see that... but is that a path i want to take...???
do i need a shopping trip or an expensive meal or a designer watch to justify having had sex with someone...????
I guess each to their own..i do not critisize anyone here for what they do...at least be open about it...
here is some honesty..i love being pampered by a guy..it can be a nice dinner or just simple things like fetching me a glass of water...
but just because he pampers me..does it mean i am using him???...if its mutual...then i suppose its not being used or tantamount to using someone...
if the man likes me and willingly does these things for me...then i think its mutual..hence if i proceed to sleep with him...its not a business deal..
but if one delibarately orders expensive things or delibarately drags the man out on a shopping trip and makes demands..and worse does not fuck the man..then thats bad...OH really bad....
i used to be so giving..what happened to me???
i don't want to live the rest of my life being a bitter angry woman...i need to heal...
and i willl...i will be a nice woman....i will stop all this nonsense....
i guess i am a heifer...a dumb ass cow...
this is how i feel right now...i need to contemplate
such are the rantings of a crazy malaysian woman in her early 30s...
9/4/2006 8:34 pm
You jsut haven't met *me* yet is all |
9/4/2006 9:00 pm
Dear lilith, we all go thought things in life and its our experiences that makes us learn new things everyday. I don't think there is anything wrong in a man spending money on you especially if he is getting sex from you. After all why should he be give free sex if he has nothing more to offer a woman. Why is it allright for a man to look for free fucks but not allright for a woman to be a free loader. Of course there are limits but to each his own. No one forces anyone to do things. If a man buys u things and takes you for expensive dinners, obviously he expects something in return and as long as you give him that something, then its fair.|
Don't hate yourself for what you do as we all have reasons for doing what we do, but learn from the mistakes we make. Learn to love yourself and don't blame yourself if things do not work out. Move on with life. You have to take the first step to change your life.
Remember that if a man thinks that you are not worth the dinners or gifts in exchange for sex, then he is not worth it, as he is obviously looking for a free fuck and has nothing to offer a woman. A man who spends on you will value you but of course you too have to give something in return. Nothing in life is free. As long as there is a give and take, thats fine. Just don't let any man make use of you. Some man may try to make a woman feel guilty by talking about gold diggers. The idea of them doing that is to make the woman feel guilty and give them free fucks. Are these kind of men really worth it, I don't think so. A man must learn to respect and value a woman and if he does he will treat her as such. A man who just expects you to meet him in his hotel room and fuck him and leave is not worth your time. These are the kind of men you should avoid.
Take care, be happy and love yourself. And remember you do have friends if you need to talk.
9/4/2006 9:23 pm
Dear, just look at each encounter as a learning experience and learn from it. The best revenge in life is to live well! That's my mantra.|
Im sure you'll be fine.....take time to reflect and when you're ready, you'll know exactly what you need to do...it'll be crystal clear!
9/5/2006 1:14 am
hun, dont let just one man to make you bitter for the rest of your life. just take one step at a time and start healing yourself. remember ONE STEP AT A TIME. i am sure you will do fine! Be POSITIVE ! xx|
9/5/2006 9:01 pm
Sweetie, dun let tat anger take u away frm d rest of the men.. there r nice men out there who r willing to buy gifts or pamper u for who u r prob a handfull of them r jerks & moron who wants to have free fucks which i think is not wat we want. yeah. we do ask them to buy us dinner... fetch us things, buy us gift..bt at times they also get things in return if u know wat i mean. |
Every women likes to b pampaered...Who doesn't?? bt not all men r willing to do tat I too like to b pampered at times.. Taken out for a nice diner, sum1 buying me gifts, ending d nite in a nice way Bt i dun alwiz have tat. I have been treated badly before. Been used both for sex & money.. I was dumb than to still stick to my ex.. bt reality pulled me away frm him after awhile & i fel such a relief yeah i did put myself in trouble which i m repaying now.. bt i alwiz tel myself tat's for my stupid mistake i made. never again will i trust men so easily Bt life has to still go on. I take one step at a time. I know i m not young anymore bt i dun pln for d future. I take it slow & m happy wit wat i have now
Dun bottle up all ur anger in u U have to let it out. talk about it. u will feel better if not gud after tat. bt of cuz... choose ur frens to talk to u dun juz trust anyone & everyone here...
U r a nice woman.. before & now & hopefully 4ever If u do need sum1 to talk to.. i m all here for u dear it's juz a ohine call away..
9/6/2006 3:24 am
Funny that you would write such a post. I just wrote an entry about a DVD that I'm recommending to people to pick up and watch called "What The $#@%! Do We Know?"|
It gets very in depth on why you would think the way you do about whats happening in your life.