What we've cum to learn from listing here over 6+ years...  

midcitiescouple 51M/52F
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12/17/2005 8:23 am

Last Read:
10/7/2007 11:33 pm

What we've cum to learn from listing here over 6+ years...


Yeah, yeah, yeah... Lori and Rob have been listing here for a decent amount of time. Not always under our current handle, midcitiescouple, but under a number of others. I guess we used txcpl4bifem for the majority of that time. The scene here on AdultFriendFinder has changed quite a bit over the years... just as we've probably changed, too.

Back in the dark ages, we could find 2-4 solid hook-ups a week on here. Our interests then were pretty much the same as they are now. We were (and still are) looking for bi ladies to join the two of us for the usual diversions: mutual masturbation, voyeurism, oral, intercourse, anal, bondage and mild s/m, toys, role-play and anything else that might come to mind. Since we both work at least 70 hours a week (split between regular jobs and our own individual businesses) and had a lot of our free time spent by way of travel, we didn't have a lot of time for a long courtship with most potential partners.

What we were looking for was the best of both worlds. Someone that was comfortable with spending time with either one of us as schedules allowed and maybe to hook-up with both of us once or twice a week. We've been a seriously committed couple for a long time. Infact, December 27th is our 10 year anniversary (hooray for us!). Some of our friends shake their heads over the fact that a dyed-in-the-wool Texan (Rob) and a Long Island Princess (Lori) would last much beyond the first little squabble. Trust me... we've survived a whole helluva lot more than little squabbles. Throw open relationships into the mix and our friends REALLY wonder how we do it.

Sorry, we digress. We didn't mean to go off on a tangent; we both tend to get a little wordy most of the time.

For the first 3 years, we had what we considered a goodly number of partners with whom we'd share our time. Mostly, we'd exchange a couple of emails and pics and if everything seemed promising we'd meet whomever wherever. Now we've taken some heat for this, but when you're talking about casual sex... how many times do you have to meet to know whether things are promising or not? For us, unless something unforseen came up we'd end up consumating our new friendship by the end of that first meet. Maybe luck was with us... as we'd be comfortable in saying that within 20 minutes of small-talk, off would come the clothes and the good times would begin to roll.

For most of the past 3 years, however, all good things seemed to have come to an end. Reading through correspondence with those in our Network and via other sources, it seemed like we weren't alone in that appraisal. First, it was a steady stream of ladies that refused to acknowledge that we were a COUPLE looking for partners. One-on-one situations were okay once a relationship was established... once there was a little trust established between all involved. All of a sudden we had ladies wanting to meet, but who were shocked that when it was time to lose the clothes that both of us were disrobing. Hmm, why had they contacted us if they hadn't read our profile? Why were we exchanging email about our first 3-way together if that wasn't exactly what was being planned? What have we just spent 20 minutes talking to this person about as they sit in our living room?

Next, was a wave of ladies that were "new" to a whole lot of things in which we had interest. Being new to something isn't a bad thing (heck, we kind of like showing someone something new every now and then). What is bad is when they falsely claim to be interested in something, and later deny that interest (even if it involves just watching or waiting while *we* as a couple partake of it) once we decide to get together. We move fast for some people, but we have always clearly discussed our interests with a potential partner and take their experience and desires into careful consideration once we do get together. Boundaries are a good thing. We even have a few of our own. Misunderstandings happen, too... but there were too many times where obviously everything was a misunderstanding.

Finally, it was a long spell of ladies that were bent on breaking one of us from the other... at any and all costs. These were the scary ones. We had ladies threatening to, and in a few cases actually following us to see where we worked and confronting our supervisors and co-workers with our activities. Fortunately, we have a cool bunch of supervisors and co-workers that knew damn well what we engaged in. We had ladies trying to figure out how to reach our families for the same purpose. Ditto, there... we've not very secretive... THANK GOD! Most forgot that such behaviour can be a two-way street and with their sort of mindset, their families and co-workers might not be as understanding. We know that sounds shitty and scary, but we steadfastly believe that asshole behavior begets asshole behavior.

So why, you might ask, do we still continue to list our profiles and pursue our activities here or anywhere else?

First, we assume responsibility both good and bad for our lifestyle choice.

Second, after a prolonged absence for looking for partners we've decided that we're not going to allow cretins to dictate terms to us.

Third, we've met too many good people (ladies, men and couples - although we have no direct physical relationships with anyone other than ladies). Despite how it seems sometimes, there are a large number of people that "GET IT."

For those of you that are reading this that know us... thank you. You're reading this because you are one of those that actually does "GET IT."

For those of you that do not know us, perhaps you are one of those that does "GET IT," and whether you're into what we are or not, we can get in touch, do each other a favor and steer people in the right direction. We're a big believer in passing on a contact that doesn't exactly work for us to people with whom they may be better suited. And we certainly don't mind sharing leads on AdultFriendFinder contacts for ladies with whom we communicate that would be open to whatever you may be into and/or looking for. Isn't that what "networking" is really for? Helping everyone find everyone that can help them along this journey?

We know... this has been a tremendously long post. As it was our first blog entry, we had to touch on some things on background and if it was tedious you have our sympathy, but hope you'll find a source you can both use and enjoy.

Thanks for the read and we'll be posting subjects periodically (in between fucking our eyeballs out). Take care, be well, be careful and have a wonderful holiday season and a superb sexual exploration.

Our best always!

Lori and Rob

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