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Insights from yesterday
Insights from yesterday
I have decided that from this day forth I am going to hold the men I take on as lovers to the same high standards I have for my dearest friends.
*They need to be cultured. People of culture tend to speak in a certain manner and can sympathize with my artistic nature. I enjoy the fine arts ‒ opera, ballet, theater ‒ large or small. My companions and I have attended everything from HUGO to small independent poetry readings in bars. I do not believe a man has to be just on this side of gay to be able to discuss such topics, but have to admit I really don’t care if they are. I like men who often get confused for queer ‒ and I like queer/bi guys too. Cultured men in the South are some of the very best, mainly because of their manners.
*They do not speak mysoginstically of women, except on occasion jokingly as is acceptable in the South. I want to be spoken to respectfully; I think I have earned that much. I don’t want a man who makes me wonder if someone prettier is going to turn their head enough for them to forget I am sitting across from them. I want the man who can look, make comment and return his focus solely to me ‒ remembering that I can get up and turns heads just as easily! It is about basic respect of the limited amount of time I have alone with anyone and appreciation.
*I want a man who is confident about his appearance. Someone whose opinion about my attire I can trust because they have good taste or can appreciate the days when I look my best. I have found that when people are confident about their own appearances they are less critical of - and more complimentary toward ‒ others. I like people to have their own style that represents who they are. Offensive does not always equate to original. Being able to adapt and go with the flow are huge pluses! I want to be able to start the day at a festival, meet friends out for an early dinner and perhaps hit a happy hour on the way home before changing into the appropriate attire to attend anything at night. I want someone who can enter a room and hold his head high, knowing together we are a star quality force!
*With that insight it should be apparent that whomever I keep companionship with must have self-confidence. A certain level of cockiness is a total turn on to me. I like flirts who can make anyone feel welcomed and liked - just by talking to them and showing what a wonderful man is on my arm. The men I tend to allow closest to me generally get labeled “switches” in the BDSM community. Most of them are generally prejudged to be dominants and in their other relationships with other women that might be a fair label. Yet with me, they find a comfort zone where they can lovingly give and serve without the pressures of being forced into a submissive or slave role. I don’t need the outside world’s definitions of a D/s relationship, as long as we have negotiated where our boundaries are. With the right energy I will accept bottoming time for myself from a good partner with this kind of ‘undefined’ kink. It’s been called “flipping the scene” and in each of my lover relationships it seems to happen on occasions. I like ‘em feisty!
*This confidence is an absolute have to have quality because I am a difficult person to nail down. I am prone to moments of spontaneity and thoughtlessness. If someone catches my eye, I’ve been known to hyper focus on the new shining object and forget the more loving and caring stability I may have at home. I generally come back to the ones I love the most and try to create a better situation. I fall in love madly and quickly. Passion drives me. If someone has my attention it is generally because they are trying to. There is no competition for my love, just my time. Show me you will bedazzle me while we are together and I will not loose interest. Start to take me for granite and I will disappear -- simple math, really, but still puzzles people.