|Blogs > michellefromhell > MichellesOwnHell|
When the music's over turn out the lights turn out the lighs turn out the lights...
The music has so left the marriage. Spoiling rotten ruins are all that remain. Once the light exposed reality my stomache turned. The hate began to fester. Disgust rose and over took what little love had managed to survive the bullshit.
Now I am submerged in my disillusionment. Wanting to sufficate back. Each night fighting the urge to end it quickly with one good pillow. Hearing him breathe; wanting it to stop so I can shut myself down and rest. Hating him more with each stupid decision he imposes on my daily life.
Why try to sleep when it just can't happen? Too busy thinking...Mind racing about the new house. How will I get it all in there? Why can't I just focus on this and stop thinking of what a great disappointment my life has become in such a short time? Why can't I just fake it? Am I brutally honest or just brutal?
HA! Big maledom needs to be told how to do the basic details of living. Working around his crap to make things better for myself. I wish he'd just fuck off...