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Back to the Future
Back to the Future
One of the things about writing a blog is figuring out what to really write. I am sure I could give a daily count of how many times I jack off, but that would probably get pretty boring after a while. Oh, I will still talk about jacking off as I love to do it and will be sure to include any really memorable or exciting sessions. But thought I would start out with something else a bit different.
I wrote a bio for the masturbation site Jackinworld in the fall of 2004. It covered almost my entire life up to that point and was very frank. It was on the board for about 4 months and was the most read bio there. As it was so explicit, the webmaster wrote to me in January 2005 and told me he had to remove it and asked me to rewrite it. I elected not to rewrite is as I really couldn’t rewrite my life story, even though if it all gets posted here, there are several parts that I wish I could have done differently.
I have decided to start posting it here in my blog in parts as sort of a back to the future kind of thing. Its major focus is masturbation, but is also my coming of age story as well. Some of you may be shocked by what you read. Some of you will find incidents that are common to all of us. I hope it isn't boring.
There is a bit of everything in it and a few parts have been posted here on AdultFriendFinder in another sections.
This is my story. I have tried to be as accurate as I can, but I am sure my recollection of some things had faded over the years. My life so far has had some interesting twists along the way, as those who read this will find. I hope it isn’t too long or boring, but cannot guarantee you will make it through to the end. I have broken the story down chronologically as best I can.
To start with, here are the basics. I am a married (21 years), 46 year old Scorpio, bisexual white male with two teenage sons. I am 6’1” tall, weigh 320 lbs , brown hair (starting to grey), with blue eyes. I am circumcised, and my dick is pretty average, about 3” soft and about 6” hard. I have a thick shaft, with a nice large head. My balls are large and hang low and I have a nice large patch of pubic hair. I like the way my dick looks and am happy with what I was given. “Mr. Happy”, as I like to call him, has given me endless hours of pleasure over the years, and I hope will continue in his role for many, many more.
I was a virgin till age 24 and have only had sexual intercourse with my wife. I have had sexual contact with other males over the years, starting as a boy and continuing during my teens. During the course of this story, I will tell you about them. I have masturbated regularly since age 11 and still average about once a day.
I am the oldest of 5, and have 2 brothers, and 2 sisters. My father was in the military, so I move around a lot.
My earliest sexual recollection was an image of an erect adult dick. I must have been around 4 or 5 at the time. I don’t know whose dick it was, I assume it was my fathers, but I really don’t know. This first image has stayed with me all of my life. They say that first impressions stay with you the longest, and to this day, I still find myself going back to that image in fantasy. I find the male penis a beautiful thing to look at. As I said, I am bisexual and equally attracted to both males and females. I have always felt that being bi was an extra special gift, and being able to enjoy sexual pleasure with both males and females a bonus.
My next sexual recollection involved me and my sister who was less than a year younger than me. We were probably 6 and 5 at the time. An older boy in the neighborhood suggested that we could play a game where I would stick my dick inside my sister. This really didn’t make much of an impression on either of us, we didn’t do it, and we ended up asking our parents about it. Needless to say the older boy was talked to by my father, and never talked to us again. We weren’t traumatized by this event, and I really didn’t understand the full implications of what had happened till I was older.
I used to get constipated from time to time, and during one of these episodes I was staying with my Grandmother. She decided the best thing for me was an enema. Oh boy, what an experience that was. I wasn’t constipated any longer, but I couldn’t figure out why my little dick had gotten rock hard. Grandma just laughed. I did feel better once my constipation was over.
EARLY SCHOOL YEARS
We moved every couple of years, depending on where dad was posted. Often we would have to wait for housing to be available on the base, so we lived in the town closest to the base. When I was about 8, I was friends with a boy named Danny. He was the middle child of a large Catholic family. He had two older sisters, and several younger sisters, with a baby brother. Danny and his sisters all went to a Catholic school that was across from the public school I attended. His sisters both wore uniforms, and to this day, I still get a bit turned on when I see a girl in uniform.
Danny and his older cousins had experimented around sexually quite a bit. Danny talked of a doctor game that he called “giving shots”. The boy would get his dick hard and then give a shot to the other person. He said that when his older cousins did this, something would come out of the end of their dicks, hence the shot. Danny told me that his cousins did this with his sisters, and him. I really didn’t quite understand what he was talking about, so he said he would show me sometime.
During one of the times he stayed overnight at my house, he made good on his promise and showed both me, and my younger 5 year old brother what he was talking about. We took off all our cloths and then Danny took my dick into his mouth. He got me good and hard and then told me to stick it into his butt hole. I laughed at him, but when I realized he was serious, I went ahead and did stick it in, or at least tried to. All it did was sort of tickle, and I didn’t have any really strong sensations. We then switched roles and I sucked him till he was hard and he then stuck his dick into my butt hole. We all took turns including my brother. At this point in my life, my parents hadn’t really talked to me about sex, and for all I knew at the time, this was just another game to play.
One of Danny’s sisters, I don’t recall which one, was good friends with my sister and also stayed at our house from time to time. It was during one of these overnight trips that I saw my first developing breast. His sister sort of liked me, and just took off her top. I remember that her breasts were sort of puffy and had started to develop. My sister was still flat as a board. She didn’t let me look at anything else and quickly put her top back on before we were caught. She was also the first girl I kissed. Shortly after these two things happened, we moved into base housing. Danny and his family weren’t very far a way, but I was never to see him again. I found out later that my younger brother told my mother about Danny’s “shot” routine, and she decided it was best that he not visit.
I was always a snoopy kid, and on one of my explorations in my parent’s room, I found a book entitled “The Picture Book of Sexual Love”. It was their marriage manual. It had pictures, pretty tame by today’s standards, but still explicit enough to give anyone a pretty good idea of what sexual intercourse was all about. I snuck a peek at the book every chance I could. From what I read, and by the expressions on the faces, it sounded like this sex stuff felt great.
One of the things the book talked about was how to make the man’s penis get really hard. The female was to take his penis between her hands and roll her hands back and forth like rolling bread dough. I tried this and my dick did get hard, but nothing else seemed to happen. This is probably going to sound really funny, but all I could think of at the time was how unfair life was that adults could have sex and enjoy it and kids couldn’t. I was frustrated, but figured out that sooner or later, I would get the good feelings too. I was about 9 at the time, and it would take another 2 years before I would get those good feelings.
Just as we had gotten settled in base housing, my dad got posted overseas to Germany. So, we packed up and moved again. I was in the fifth grade now and made friends with an older boy in my class by the name of Kermit. He had flunked at least once, maybe twice, I don’t really recall. We both sat at the back of the classroom and cut up all the time.
One day in art class, we were messing around with clay. Kermit decided he was going to create a couple of anatomically correct clay figures. He molded both a male and female figure, with the male having a nice hard dick. The female had nice boobs and Kermit then decided to press the two figures together, simulating intercourse. I sat their with my mouth wide open, thinking he would get caught any second. As the teacher walked towards us, Kermit quickly squished the copulating clay figures into a ball. It was a very close call. Do you think he had learned his lesson? No, as soon as the teacher had returned to the front of the classroom, Kermit then decided he was going to form a new figure, this time an erect dick. I just shook my head.
I guess in all the activity, Kermit had gotten quite an erection and then decided he had to show me that too. I was trying to stay cool and he was say “Psst, look at this.” and pointing to the bulge in his pants. I looked and then he started moving his dick in his pants by twitching his erection. I started to get hard myself, but my bulge wasn’t nearly as big as his was. I guess he could tell I was pretty impressed. The bell rang and that was the end of the show for that day.
Kermit had liked the attention I had given him and he repeated this show of getting hard and he then showing me his bulge a couple of more times. Sadly, I never got to see his dick in the flesh and he soon moved away.
By this time in my life, I really did like to look at dicks. I would sneak a peak every chance I could in public restrooms. I used to lie in the tub while taking a bath and watch mine get hard and then get soft over and over again. I also would try “rolling the dough” to see if I could get those good feelings. Nothing happened, but I kept trying. Looking back now, I don’t think I gave myself enough time and was probably quitting too soon.
I also discovered during this time that I like anal stimulation. I think this was “fallout” from my enema experience at my Grandmothers. I used my fingers or I would insert an object, usually the end of a small hair brush or tooth brush into my butt hole while in the tub. It always felt sort of good and my dick would get hard every time.
During my sixth grade year we had the usual sex education class and I now understood how everything was supposed to work. This class sort of filled in the gaps that my parent’s marriage manual had left out. Of course it wasn’t a book for beginners. I still hadn’t had a wet dream nor was I able to have an orgasm.
I went to a “Learn to Sky Week” with my class in sixth grade. I shared a room with two other boys from my class. I guess these two guys were pretty good friends. I didn’t know them too well, but they must have trusted me because one night after the lights had been turned off, they started to wrestle around in the same bad and before long, both were naked and were playing with each other dicks. I don’t think either of them had reached puberty, as their dicks were still rather undeveloped. They did get hard, but I don’t seem to recall of either of them having an orgasm. Since I hadn’t had one yet, perhaps I really didn’t know what to look for. I wasn’t invited to join them, so I just stayed on my side of the room and watched. It turned me on to watch them as I ended up going up the hall and spending a long time with one of my bath tub sessions of “rolling the dough” and shoving my finger up my butt. I didn’t come, but I do recall it starting to feel good. I caught a little bit of flack as the bath tub was supposed to be used by the girls and the boys were supposed to use the shower. I never talked to the two boys about what they did and kept it to myself.
I was also active in Boy Scouts. During one of the many overnight campouts with my patrol, the subject of wet dreams came up. The other guys asked who had them. I hadn’t, so I just kept quiet. A couple said they did, and that was the end of the discussion. I soon fell asleep. The next morning, a couple of the guys had claimed that they had a wet dream that night, and then sort of gave sly laugh. Looking back on it, I felt that they were lucky that they could do this and I couldn’t. I guess I still felt cheated. It was also quite possible that I had missed out on a circle jerk that had happened right under my nose while I was sleeping.
Boy Scout summer camp was also an interesting time for me. We would all shower together and everyone could see what the other guy had between his legs. There were guys of all ages in the troop, so there were quite a variety of dicks to look at. My patrol leader Frank was very proud of his equipment. Often he would return from the shower only with a towel around his waist and dry off with his tent wide open for the whole patrol to see. He was an 8th grader and had a nice dark batch of curly pubic hair. He often talked about sex and how great it would be to be married and be able to have sex with your wife anytime you wanted.
Up until now, I haven’t talked much about girls. Some of you may be wondering if I was interested in girls at this age, and the answer was yes. I was also very shy. I had a baby sitter at the time who would sit in a chair in a short skirt, legs open, revealing her white panties. I used to find myself arranging my view so I could look up her skirt. She caught me and to my surprise, encouraged me by spreading her legs so I could get a nice view. We ended up talked about sex, and before long, I took her back to show her my parent’s marriage manual. I still looked at it every chance I could. She pointed out a few details I had missed, one being that in one of the pictures, the female had a finger up the guys butt hole. She asked if I could come yet, and I told her no. I guess this wasn’t the answer she wanted and she then put the book back and said we should get back out in the living room before my parents returned. That was the end of that and we never talked about such things again.
During the summer between the sixth and seventh grade and not that many months after my Learn to Ski Week experience, the moment of truth was about to arrive. My dick had started to grow and I had the light wisp of black pubic hair around the base of my dick and some on my balls. I had continued off and on to “roll the dough” by taking my dick between my hands and rolling it like bread dough. I also learned that I really couldn’t do this dry without it hurting, so I started to spit on my dick and hands when I did this for lubrication. I think this may have been the turning point as I was able to keep going longer and longer.
(To be continued…