No strings is harder than I thought....  

mi_mwpm 51M
1175 posts
4/24/2005 6:17 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

No strings is harder than I thought....

Wow, being in a no strings relationship is tougher than I thought. I couldn't continue to be with someone if I didn't have at least some type of feelings for them, so I guess it's more of limited strings relationship. My ladyfriend, J, is going through a rough patch with her mother being very sick. I can't help her through it. That's tough to handle. I'd love to be able to give her someone to talk to about it, but that's not part of the relationship - a lot of hot sex and a little general chatter about our families and other things between rounds, little email contact between "dates" (seems I had made too much contact without realizing it), and no phone contact.

Our planned encounter for tomorrow is questionable, for obvious reasons. Not upset about that - family first - but am kind of surprised at how painful it is not to be able to help her through this.

Apolybear 54M

4/25/2005 2:30 pm

It's very easy to get attached to a F#@kbuddy. If J only wants sex, perhaps, you should consider finding someone who wants a friendship as well as a sex partner. Frankly, I don't have much luck with F#@kbuddies. They don't seem to last because the passion subsides and the sex becomes boring. But, that's me.

FrndsWBenefits 53M/52F
56 posts
4/25/2005 5:08 pm

You are there for her. Just not in the way or frequency you'd really like to be at the moment, is that it? She's broken some of her rules for you, this could become another... You may be more help than you know as it stands. Given your limited contact, that type of exchange/interaction will naturally happen more slowly.

Conversely: Remember why *you're* here.

mi_mwpm 51M

4/25/2005 6:18 pm

Thanks John and Mary. I'm just a softy and want to help someone I know is hurting - even if we weren't playing together.

I really have no intent on this becoming a full-blown relationship. Even without the 10 year age difference there would be way too many complications. This is just my first FB and I need to wrap my head around a few things. I'm sure John's right and the passion will eventually subside, which will probably leave nothing of substance.

zenyen 65M

4/25/2005 8:11 pm

I've always thought the term "no strings" applied to expectations/responsibilities, not necessarily no feelings.

mi_mwpm 51M

4/26/2005 5:20 am

The feelings are OK, it's the lack of ability to do anything that's frustrating. I tried to give her space and told her to contact me when she was ready/able, and got a message this morning asking about Thursday. Maybe our sessions are going to be part of her grief handling...

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