Memorial Weekend HORROR-Scope  

mi_mwpm 51M
1175 posts
5/27/2005 8:56 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Memorial Weekend HORROR-Scope

by rockwriter58

While our modest and intrepid host is away on vacation, your fill-in blogger rockwriter58 will attempt an amazing feat of prognostication! Long-time readers of this column will understand this is just a new take on JF’s vaunted HORROR-scope feature.

I have never believed in horoscopes, but if there is one rule you learn as a writer it is this: the most important feature in a newspaper is the horoscope. Don’t ever drop it unless you want to handle hundreds of irate phone calls. I haven’t seen the usual HORROR-scope feature in this blog for awhile, so here’s my twisted attempt.

I have perused and excerpted a number of horoscopes for our host blogger and included my own Karnak-like predictions.*

May 28

Horoscope No. 1
From Friday evening and through the rest of the weekend, there's a sparkle in your eye and a spring in your step. You're more attractive than ever, so try something (or someone!) new.

(Editing Note: Knowing our friend Jeff, this is definitely off the mark.)

Horoscope No. 2
What a difference a day makes. Yesterday you had your chin on the ground, but today you're able to look the world in the eye again. You're keen to make up for lost time by doing things that are exciting and mentally stimulating, such as visiting somewhere for the first time.

Rock’s Prediction
Horoscope No. 2 is best. JF takes the family to Disney World.

May 29

Horoscope No. 3
Sunday's when you realize exactly what you want, and what you don't want. Then you'll be ready to make a decision that reflects your deepest feelings.

Horoscope No. 2
Tread carefully today because there's a lot going on under the surface.

Rock’s Prediction
Keep your money on No. 2. Emotions can be a rollercoaster when people attend birthday parties, even if it is a party for a one-year-old. Also, JF wins the position he wants in the Blogtown election.

May 30

Horoscope No. 4
You could hear some exciting news from a distant place that will put you in line for a new adventure.

Horoscope No. 2
You're surrounded by good luck today, so don't waste it.

Rock’s Prediction
Switch to No. 4 here. JF’s boss calls and tells him he must make an unplanned trip but it won’t be back to Houston.

May 31

Horoscope No. 5
By month’s end, you may well be exhausted from all the drama.

Horoscope No. 6
You are likely to push yourself much too hard.

Rock’s Prediction
Both are correct. Traveling with kids these days is very tough. Our host will likely need all of June 1 just to recover from the trip home.

*The likelihood of any of these predictions coming true is nil unless other forces intervene.

And now we conclude this post with an announcement from our political sponsor. mi_mwpmPlease vote for mi_mwpm for Town Engineer in the Blogtown elections this weekend.

This message has been approved by the candidate for broadcast to you in this blog.


Become a member to create a blog