I really can't think of a good title...  

mi_mwpm 51M
1175 posts
6/8/2005 4:18 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

I really can't think of a good title...

I promised to return to my normal blog entries, I lied. Today's entry is more serious than yesterday's...

Today we got the word that my father-in-law is "shutting down." No miracle recovery, just the inevitable. Moving from the hospital to hospice. Wife's doing a little better than I expected she would when the time came, but there's still that final hurdle to be cleared, whenever he chooses to cross over.

My FIL and I were never really that close... suspect that had something to do with the 5 1/2 years his daughter and I lived together before bothering to get married ... but we got along well and I was his computer technician (or at least his diagnostician when I couldn't go up to do the work for him). We'd chat about General Motors' woes (he's a retiree) or other current events, but never anything too deep or serious.

What I think I'll miss the most is the chance for my daughter to get to know her grandfather. She's only 2 1/2, she probably won't remember him long, other than recognizing him in pictures. We'll do our best to make sure that she does, but having lost my Great Grandfather at about the same age I know I have no independent recollection of him, just images others have painted for me over the last 36 years.

I had written a silly blog today, before the news, but I'll hold onto it until things have settled. It's timeless, unlike ourselves.

Give your family and friends hugs tonight... even if it's only from afar.

missy97330 47F

6/8/2005 6:54 pm

Stressful times for you. Thinking of your family...

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
6/8/2005 7:38 pm

I recently read a book called "Intimate Death: How The dying teach Us How To Live".
It was written by a psychologist who worked in a hospice.
She listened to the residents, whatever it was they felt they needed to say.
I hope you wife is able to do the same, and your father in law will be able to feel that it's OK for him to go.
There is no such thing as death, when your wife see a photo or thinks of her dad he will always be alive.

Barbiebunny69 43F

6/8/2005 9:22 pm

(big huggs stretching the miles)

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
6/8/2005 10:38 pm

Sorry that you are going through a rough time right now. I do so hope that things look up for you soon. Speaking of Grandpa's, I was fortunate to know mine so well b/c I was then oldest granddaughter. Hopefully, you will have many stories to share your daughter....

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
6/9/2005 10:56 am

These times are usually when thoughts of atonement surface.

Human compassion compells us to try to ease another's pain with our words. Sometimes effective, moreover not. You have my condolences and wishes that your wife, you and your daughter fair the absolute best possible under these circumstances. Death is a painful thing.

I think, if I'm elected governor, I'm going to make death illegal.

[blog talldarkavg1]

Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

6/9/2005 9:58 pm

We send our best wishes as well.

zenyen 65M

6/10/2005 5:58 am

Sorry to hear that. Keep an eye on your wife - she may not be doing as well as she seems.

mi_mwpm 51M

6/10/2005 7:28 pm

Thanks everyone. He's stable, but there's little hope left for improvement at this point. My wife is the last holdout on moving him to Hospice, but I think she's beginning to see that it's better than the alternative... the hospital is going to force him out and the options are Hospice or a nursing home. Either place will provide the same basic level of care -- comfort, oral meds, etc -- but Hospice will allow the family to stay 24/7 if they wish where a nursing home usually has set visiting hours and a true level of care that I don't trust.

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